Just now, Marie and I were exchanging comments; and when I thanked her for taking the time to read/re-read…and re-read my posts (in order to wrap her head around my messages) she wrote….
“No trouble at all, Truly. I just wish that the real world would emulate the blogging world in the respect that we try to understand each other better. Sometimes the “gift” is wrapped so well you need to take the time to remove the layers to truly(!) appreciate what others give. <3”
What a beautiful perspective…how generous. This is evidence of a true desire for connection–this willingness to meet people where they are. And, it is in that spirit that I share what follows.
(But, first, here’s where to find Marie…she is amazing!)
So, I love creative writing/writing creatively–it’s my equivalent of painting, or figure skating, or belting a power ballad, or rocking a dance tune, or dancing like a star…none of which I have the talent for 🙂 It’s my way of contributing to what we bring to this (blogging) world of ours.
And, it’s also a way for me to entice myself to work on/through things that come to my attention–whether welcome or not. The creativity part means I can set two birds free with one action (I don’t like the expression, “kill two birds with one stone”)…I can grow while having fun doing it.
But, I get Marie’s point when she says she also really appreciates my straightforward messages…those that allow for the mind to skip along at it’s own pace,–without the need for second guessing, diving in deeper, and straining to understand abstractions and riddles.
Sometimes I think about posting something uncomplicated, but I think to myself–“What if everyone likes this type of post better? I’m sick of writing in straight forward ways: I do so much of that for work (writing notes about clients, and corresponding with other professionals etc.). Writing (straight up) about my experiences will lose its adventurous appeal…the joy’ll be sucked out of it…there’s no adventure in writing in the same old boring way.”
“But”, I ask myself, “why, then, would you worry that readers would like that type of communication better? It must have value given that those kind of posts get more views than your creative ones (which is what makes you think people like them better).”
Right, the old paradoxical conundrum comes into play…
So, I guess it’s a matter of control, and of being stubborn…and, insecure…and, selfish to an extent.
I know that there are people who enjoy my usual posts–that they find them deep, clever, amusing, and nostalgia-inducing. So, it’s easy to tell myself that I’m giving freely. However, if it’s always on my own terms, can I really profess that my goal is to show-up and be real? If I always show up “dressed to the nines”, it doesn’t allow for me to attend a casual get-together.
Which, if you’ll bear with me, is best illustrated by an anecdote.
You may remember I told you I’m such a people person, but need a good deal of alone/down time to recoup from connecting. Well, in the early months, my colleagues would include me in after work–or weekend–invitations; and (having become more comfortable) I risked sharing that I’m an introvert who–in the light of day–engages in ways that scream extrovert.
And, it’s not pretense. I’m a lover of people and am often told I have a gift for making people feel great (happy, accepted, understood)…engaging is my thing! 🙂 But, by the time I get home, I’m all about letting it all go in service of giving my mind, heart, and soul a break…it might be a bit different if I weren’t a full-time mental health clinician/social worker–but, not entirely.
I know for sure that I wouldn’t be so tired–and that I’d stay up past 8:00pm, without stressing about how little cumulative sleep I would get.
Anyway, to my point…
A couple weeks ago, one of my colleagues/friend invited our work-team to her house…and, she added that we could all show up in pajamas, track pants, hoodies, yoga pants and tee-shirts…whatever struck our fancy. The point was, there were no expectations…no requirement to have your “game face” on….drink, don’t drink…eat, don’t eat….sleep over or not….stay, go…no pressure.
Well, it really said something that everyone lit up and marveled when I said I was coming; and I pointed out that E. had me at pajamas and no pressure! 🙂 It also helped that she lives five minutes from my house…and that all of us were feeling the draining effects of busy/intense workdays and winter’s grey chill. Being in the same boat can be sooooo comforting.
So, I went and I really did enjoy the experience of just relaxing with others who needed a communal non-get-together kinda Friday night. I left after three hours, but wasn’t the first to leave…and, I didn’t feel awkward doing it. I can’t say I am chomping at the bit to do it again any time soon (say, within the next couple months) but, that’s the truth of my need to recharge. Alone time/down time is so precious and needed if I am to nurture my self. I don’t know how people with kids do it all!!! That is a real gift!
Anyway, my point is this…
I will make a point of writing in the way that Marie spoke to…while she enjoys both styles, she requested that some of my sharing look like this….and, you know what? I thank her so much for asking (and in such a sweet way 🙂 ). She was asking me to–if you’ll pardon the metaphor–invite her over for a come-as-you-are-and-relax connection.
And, you know what else? It just occurred that I don’t mind if this post is more popular than my creative ones…it’s all me, it’s all real, and it’s all in the interest of connecting with you…so, the choice is yours, and I will always be grateful that you stopped by.
Speaking of choice, here’s yesterday’s regular (creative) post:
God bless you and your loves. 🙂
P.S. To my friend, D., I really miss seeing you every day…I love you and am so grateful we are friends. And, in the event that nurse Y. reads this, I love you, as well…you are such an inspiration and blessing–and I am still blown away that (unbeknownst to me) you found your way to my blog and took the time to let me know…and shared how much you enjoy my posts 🙂
P.P.S. I write posts like this in a fraction of the time my creative ones take… 🙂