(Mar. 30/16) A Briar Rose By Any Other Name…

Well, hello, super marvels.  Have I ever told you that one of the things I like best is eating breakfast for supper?  Or that, weather permitting, I’ve worn my winter coat over my pyjamas and gone through Tim Horton’s drive-thru?  And that, on occasion, I’ve thrown caution to the wind, and let my imagination run wild?

Well, in yet another feat of daring, this morning’s posting is, technically, a night-time read (however, possessing a versatility akin to that of French toast and bacon, it can be read at any old time at all 🙂 ).

We’re all familiar with the formulaic bedrock of fairy tales (cheated doom/happy endings); so, for the sake of brevity, today’s nod (off) to “Sleeping Beauty” includes crib notes.

Looming above a royal cradle, a prideful, speech-impaired (oh…and overlooked) spinster curses a doe-eyed, cooing infant.  In this fair/wee tale, the envious Miss Fortune-Teller concedes that Briar Prose will, indeed, grow to have the most beautiful and wise voice in all the land…and…

 (*Insert sneer and eye-roll here*)

 …will, one day, meet her charming prince.

 However, adds the spiteful wench, securing true love will be Princess P’s undoing. 

Lost in love, and finding herself at a loss for words, the princess will cut her finger; and inadvertently enable a diss-enchanted spell that will render her every utterance nonsensical and objectionable.  And, soon thereafter, the kingdom’s demoralized residents will become so emotionally-exhausted that they will fall into a collective stupor…never to be heard from again.

But, just to make things interesting, the spinster included the proviso that, if the couple kissed just after hearing the most magical melody of all, the curse would not take effect.

Fast forward to….whenever….

Once upon a tine, a young prince came to an unfamiliar fork in the road.  Heretofore, filled with utmost confidence, unswerving determination–and in possession a fleet and sure-footed steed—the prince was unaccustomed to deep contemplation as to the path best travelled…

However, possessing the Nobel and prize-winning heart common to all fabled heroes, he wanted to do the good and right thing.

But where to begin?

How did this fork come to be here…and what could its significance be?

Having given it a momentary second, and third, thought—and a carefree shrug of his broad (of course) shoulders—the prince picked the fork up, took a left; and rode for a fortnight for no other reason than this time-frame is often included in tales of old.

And so it came to be that, on the fourteenth day—the longest ride of his life—Prince Tenderloin happened upon an unknown tract of land that was surrounded by a sentinel of impenetrable trees—there was no way through them!

Luckily, at a loss that had him going in circles, he eventually spied a guard-en gate on the furthest side of the enchanted forest

(I said the Prince was determined, I didn’t say he was all that observant).

Here, mere coincidence was elevated to fortunate happenstance.  For, there—ducking his responsibilities—crouched Bill Mallard…a former school chum of the prince.

And, just when—believing he’d avoided detection—Bill figuratively jumped for joy, he was gripped by a leg-cramp so fierce that inflexibility bent him to its will.

Peeking/duck routine no longer an option, up popped Bill at the very moment the prince was about to depart, never to return!

Chagrined, Prince T’s former school chum confessed that he’d resorted to moonlighting as a guardsman; and shared his tale of woe.

In return for his silence, the Prince was granted entry into the gated kingdom beyond; and…

Yada, yada, yada…

Despite stringent security measures, he and Briar Prose met, fell in (instant) love , and—on her 21st birthday—everyone had a ball….

However, as the handsome stranger and equitable princess twirled around the dance floor, things took a turn for the curse.

As their eyes locked, the couple heard a melody so hauntingly-beautiful that it could only be the prophesied enchantment that would destroy the spinster’s evil spell…

“Girl, your every woman in the world to me, you’re my fantasy, you’re my reality…”

And, with the final crescendo, they kissed for the first time, and their happy ending was assured….

Or, so they believed…

Meanwhile, secreted amongst the guests, Miss Fortune looked on with sadistic glee…relishing the knowledge that it was the accursed tuning fork (forgotten in the Prince’s breast pocket) that was playing their hearts like a fiddle….

Now, there are theories as to what happened next; but folklore holds that, when Prince Tenderloin kissed the princess, he took the words right of her mouth…which is plausible since he was the great-grandson of rock royalty (King Meat of Loafland).

However, truth is, upon searching her buzzed and delightfully-dizzied mind for apt words, Princess B(ee) discovered they were located on the tip of her tongue.

And not wanting to appear rude, she dared not look at them.

So, deciding her best option was to stall for time, she opened what she thought was a greeting card…

And fell victim to a paper cut!

Then, right on cue, the gloating spinster revealed herself, cackled smugly, and repeated every last detail of her nefarious curse…

Which, given the poison pen letter clasped in P.B.’s hand, was an indulgent and foolish redun-dunce.

Nevertheless, the toxic prediction hit its mark.  The princess began to panic as excited words escaped her and trailed off, until all that remained were trembling stammers…

For a brief shaming moment, the spinster imagined a wilted Briar Prose—all confidence lost, holed up in a poison ivory tower, and beyond her subjects’ reach…

An itch they could never scratch…

However, the spiteful soul forgot to account for one very important thing.  Princess Prose was so determined to spread love, kindness—and, encouragement—that she found the strength to act on the very last line of the very first fairy tale she ever heard…

“Stand before the people you fear (disappointing) and speak (from your heart)—even if your voice shakes.”

And when she did, the curse was broken….

The End…

Oh wait!  A few enlightening points….

“Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind—even if your voice shakes” (one of my favourites) is a Maggie Kuhn quote.

“Yada, yada, yada” is a line/joke from Seinfeld. 🙂

“Every Woman In The World To Me” (by Air Supply) is a great song, but not hauntingly beautiful…that distinction belongs to “Unchained Melody” (the Righteous Brothers’ version).

And, Air Supply’s ballad, “I’m All Out Of Love” has to be in the top ten of my best-loved slow songs, but it didn’t lend itself to the storyline.  🙂

Lastly, I sneaked a second Air Supply ballad into the story….and a Meatloaf tune…a lyrical “Where’s Waldo”…perhaps you’ll let me know if you’ve found them 🙂

God bless you 🙂

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34 thoughts on “(Mar. 30/16) A Briar Rose By Any Other Name…

    1. What a wonderfully-kind thing to say…thank you! This one was so hard on my brain…going inside out and round about can be so much fun…this one, until the very last go round, not so much. However, I do appreciate the way it turned out. Thanks again…you’ve made my day 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I beg to differ wrt nighttime read for ’tis but 9.22 a.m. here and one embarks upon a habitual decaf coffee about now and perusal of followed blog posts. Clearly yours now features amongst the ones I look at most simply because they are quite mad… However, one must not overdo mad quotes from Wonderland and reflect upon wise words from Edgar Allan Poe…

    ‘They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.’

    This has absolutely nothing to do with your rather excellent rambling prose and more to do with my computer issue that dreaming consider a lump hammer might prevail whereas cognisant morning airs suggested the rather simpler just remove the offending drive.

    Not that I am famed for digressing but it seems one might have ever so slightly moved off topic…the result of decaf rather than camomile.

    Your words…that was it…yes…rambling prose…I mentioned that already you know. And verily it is a most marvellous missive (see I alliterate and everything these days). Excellent stuff and well crafted in your style of…well…quotations from a book that I’m averting lest it loses the impact…waiting for the right moment as it were.

    Night time read indeed 😜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Gary,
      I thoroughly enjoy and appreciate your comments…you have your own signature style, and it is so original and entertaining. And I thank you so much for taking the time to share such comprehensive and thoughtful comments…I’m reading his before leaving for work and it’s added to what I am determined will be a great day….thanks for sharing 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Truly…if that is indeed your name 🤔

        Hedged bets because I feel Trulyunplugged is probably not real unless your parents were famed for odd named offspring.. In which case I apologise and rescind the parent naming convention into something rather quirky as opposed to odd.

        Thank you right back re comments upon comments. Have I got a style as such? I can’t say I’d ever considered it more than waffling aimlessly until the point I’m trying to make appears…often it doesn’t but by that time I’ve probably lost the train of thought anyway so it matters not…unless it’s your blog of course and folk start wondering who this looney tunes is…hmmm…hadn’t thought about that until just now !

        Nevertheless, I do hope your day went/goes (depending on when you read this) splendidly well…great in fact, to coin your words and grim thungs stay far far away and preferably in the swamp with Shrek.

        Until next we meet I bid thee anon 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hi, Gary….Truly really is my name 🙂 And, I wouldn’t worry about what others think of you meanderings….if they are reading my posts, then they are already used to the language of rambling…when I talk, if it’s something new to me or something I am figuring out, I do the same thing…talk until I know what I am trying to say 🙂 I actually had a great day..largely because I went to the ER and got a prescription….turns out I have a sinus infection as well as the flu…so, while the flu has to run its course, the sinus infection will be cleared up by antibiotics…light at the end of the tunnel 🙂 I hope your day was just lovely. And, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and positive regard…you are delightful 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi truly Truly…nice to have a name to talk to rather than an anymous thingamy… Word association now…I’m stuck with Chitty Bang Bang 🤔

    Bet you have not heard that one before lol….Dick Van Dyke and hmmm who was it…Sally Ann Howes??

    Not that I know that film very well and prefer Alice…not that that means I don’t like Truly….if you follow my drift… Which you may not because it wanders lots….although being mad you might 😁

    But flu? You have flu? That sucks. I’m surprised you have the energy to blog never mind anything else 😷

    I truly hope (ok overdoing the play on words now lol) you feel better soon and hopefully the antibiotics clear out the snotty nose sinus infection shortly.

    See I can write mostly sensible posts too 😇

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Gary,
      I have no problem following your train of thought. 🙂 And, don’t worry, people do the truly word play all the time…and, I love the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (first saw it as a child and was mesmerized…I love British accents, the look of the country side, the flying car, the nurturing father…and the magic and intrigue of it all…oh, and the songs!). As for the flu, my blog post was 3 days late, and I missed some days at work…I’m glad it’s Friday and I will have a couple days for the sinus infection meds to kick in before Monday and work comes around again 🙂 And, I really enjoy that you associate me with Alice in Wonderland….it’s such a delightful one and one I never expected….you have an utterly unique way of expressing things and I find it so enjoyable…thanks for writing…a great start to my morning. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Truly

        So resisting lyrics from that song…must resist… 😇

        Excellent this means one can ramble and not ponder things too deeply on the assumption you’ll know exactly where it’s not going! We do have some cool countryside over here too..between rain that is..although that’s probably why it’s green but boy does it rain when it feels like it…and wind…we get incessant wind now too. Far from the halcyon days of youth when it was all sun and glowy. Seriously nobody has clocked the Alice connection…but…surely they must. All those mad quotes and zany trips into strange and weird places…it has a jabberwocky too…Imagine that!

        I do hope your state of health improves over the weekend…feet up, rest and write right! And no rushing about…although with flu I guess that’s not really on the agenda just yet 🤕😷🤒

        Like

      2. I smiled when I read, ..on the assumption you’ll know exactly where it’s not going!” Oh, and as for lyrics–when I was at a training a few months ago, the originator of the initiative being introduced had flown in from England, and when he realized my name is Truly, he actually sang a couple lines from “Truly Scrumptious” and “Hush-A-Bye Mountain (my favorite song of that movie) and I was so thrilled…British accent just makes it all the more charming…and, he was just delightful…very charismatic…anyway, I’m rambling 🙂 I am relieved it’s the weekend. Yes to writing, and no to rushing about…that is what week days are for:) I hope you have a really great weekend. Chat with you soon 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hmmm….ran out of reply slots to your replies on my replies 🤔

    Still, perhaps that is way the system says stop talking nonsense, go write your own post. Which I should. Especially now computer say yes 😁

    I was desperately trying to avoid mentioning Truly Scrumptious in my remarks too but since you did first I feel more at ease 😊

    Have a good weekend and remember…rest up… Chatting soon seems, well, inevitable 😇

    Liked by 1 person

  4. How cleverly funny! You may have intended for this to be read at night but I just came across it. And as good of an ending to a day, its surely becoming a good beginning to my morning.
    You really do have a unique writing style. What compelled me to read this was the title, its beautiful. What held my attention was of course the story itself. Kig Meat of Loafland, priceless. Very funny 🙂 thank you for writing this. I enjoyed it immensely!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to let me know how my offering impacted you…I appreciate it more than I can say 🙂 And, no, I don’t expect people to read it at night–it’s just that that, in my experience, that’s when fairytales are read to children. But, as with eating breakfast food for supper, this read is intended for any old time at all 🙂 It’s 2:45pm where I am, which turns out to be a perfect time for my heart to swell…thank you so much! 🙂

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      1. I understand what you said at the beginning then about breakfast food. Makes perfect sense 🙂 You’re absolutely right! In my own experience all sorts of stories were read to me before bed, fairy tales included.
        I really am looking forward to reading more posts from you and I know I’ll definitely be looking back at some older ones in my spare time 🙂 I really enjoy your writing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are so very, very sweet….thank you for connecting with me…also, I have added a clarifying line to my post to make it clear that this is a reading for any time…thank you for helping me to make it more understandable! And, thank you for the complimentary feedback, it means a lot…and I will be reading your existing and future posts as well…it will be my privilege 🙂

        Like

  5. This is phenomenal! I found myself giggling alone at the office @ 6AM (Malaysia Time). Pretty sure I will have “Every Woman In The World To Me” stuck in my head for days! Btw, your hidden Air Supply ballad, Is it “Lost in Love”? Couldn’t quite find the Meatloaf one which is due to the fact that I only know 1 song which is “I’d do anything for love”. lols

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! ” Lost in love”! I love, love, love that you found that one…that was the harder one to find! Meat Loaf had a hit with “You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth” (oh, it must have been when you were kissing me)…. You just made a good day great! I can’t believe how happy it made me to have someone ‘get it’ 🙂 You are full of surprises 🙂 Thank you 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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