Well, hello, friends (I took a risk just there…I hope I haven’t put you on the spot). And, I’m hoping the unsweetened title won’t turn you off either. After all, I find words irresistible, and I need to take them where I find them.
And, today, they are spelling out chances.
(*Between you me and the lamp-post, this is by no means the first time words have put me in a precarious position, so I don’t see why they’re acting like this is a novel occasion. However, and for reasons known only to the Word Dictators—the inflated rulers of all babble, ramble, and prattle—my words have a penchant for dramatics…so, let’s just humour them and see where they takes us*).
Oops—proving I can’t keep anything from them—and, true to aforementioned theatrics—they’ve stage-whispered a command (of the English language) whereby you must pronounce penchant with a French accent (unless French is your first language, in which case, as you were 🙂 ).
Now, back to risky business…
You can take ‘em, or leave ‘em, but uncertainties are always lurking; so you might as well face them—rather than have them show up late-night, embittered, and with all the disregard of a spurned fairy godmother who curses you for not inviting her to your gathering (thoughts).
Consequently, it’s best that I no longer ignore the elephant in the room…or, more accurately, the monster…no, scratch that, the Munster in the room…
Yes, things are a little clearer now–I’ve got a Herman Munster on my mind!
You see, the whole mess started when I made the mistake of reflecting for one-moment-too-long on a quote I saw the other week…and it set my mind off to the races.
Here’s the culprit…
“Practice kindness, but don’t become a doormat” (author unknown).
Having gotten it (mostly) half right throughout my life, the messenger is preachin’ to the choir….and the unconverted, simultaneously.
Here’s the thread that stitches my progressive patchwork of understanding together.
As relates to my latest challenge/growth, I’m seeking to balance my determination to set boundaries between
A) Me and takers/emotional vampires, and
B) My unsettling (.5) worry that this transition might trigger a (short-term?) cynical, rigid, and self-centered attitude.
Now, the evolved among you might be thinking that these are easily achievable/mutually exclusive ways of being. However, I’m just not sure what has happened, internally, while I honed my people-pleasing skills, lo these many years.
Yes, I have come quite a good distance, with my kind heart intact…but, sensing that increased blessings are ahead (which requires that I don’t let my good intentions get in my way), I am committed to taking things to a whole new level.
That’s the good news, and the scary news!
What if, much like Elaine’s love interest in the Seinfeld episode where—urged by Elaine to grow his lush hair back (rather than continue to shave his head)—I find, as he did, that I’ve gone bald (so to speak)?!
I’ve been biting my tongue for so long that, somewhere along the line, it has become the tip of an iceberg.
So much has been left unsaid…and undigested…
Now–having developed an intolerable sensitivity to coldness–I‘ve come to realize that I’m no longer willing to keep biting off more than I can chew…or stomach.
So, yes, I get that I need to love toxic people from a distance (though few in number, they are mighty powerful); but, in the process of identifying them as such, I don’t’ want to lose my considerable capacity for compassion…
Nor, do I want to become distracted by grievances , and unforgiveness…. nor, gloss over my own imperfections.
We are all susceptible to expecting more from others than is reasonable—and I don’t want to add to my existing/diminishing baggage by weighing myself down with mounting frustrations and self-righteous judgements…
All that’ll do is reduce me to a knuckle dragger…
Which is as close to a monster-segue as I am going to get at this rate, so let’s go back to front.
Herman Munster was a pseudo monster…he looked like one, externally, but had a heart of gold—and innocence to match (think, “Nature’s First Green Is Gold” reference—found in my “About Me (part A)” post).
As such, he was mischaracterized….misunderstood…feared…and endearingly-clueless….
The difference between he and I is, he—despite episodic occurrences—was always surprised to find that he was the monster people were referring to…but, he never came to believe it…he knew who he was.
I, on the other hand, unsure what I will find once I allow room for All of my relevant thoughts/feelings to surface, am somewhat concerned that I might not be as charitable, patient, and kind-hearted as I (and others) think.
Oh!!! And, just like that, there it is! There’s the saving grace/culmination of the truth-will-set-you-free-moments that I’ve been praying for!
Given the chance to share with you, I’ve found the discipline (and time) to take a good and honest look at what (up to now) I dared only look at peripherally…
Here’s today’s life lessen-your-burden:
Fear of risk is a trap. It would have us believe that, in light of uncertainty, side-long glances are daring enough (in my case, wondering how much of the old me will be left as the evolving me emerges). However, they can never provide a full picture, and leave us to fill in the blanks with imagined monsters.
The fact that I found the courage to face this head-on doesn’t make me any where close to perfect; and doesn’t mean that I don’t have a lot to learn (boy, I have no doubt about that! 🙂 )….but, it reminds me that, no matter what it may look like—no matter time and place—I am definitely a Munster…never a monster.
Thank so much for your help….for being here.
I’ll post again in a week, and look forward to seeing your posts as well 🙂
God bless you!