“Hell-ho-ho-ho”, Wonderfuls! 🙂
Right off the bat(ty)—given recognition that the holidays can be a double-edged sword—here’s two helpings of inclusive context:
For starters, a nibble’s worth of un-seasoned food for thought for those laid low by Christmas hype:
Blimey, while having a melt-drown of epic propoor-(me)-shuns rational thought…
I’ve been arrested by a crime-me a (Willy Wonka chocolate) river…
And, absent enough focus on self-care,
I’m feeling the pinch of (Miami) Vice grip past-wells and jack(et) of all trades tea shirks.
Or, Terrifics, if you prefer a Christmas feast (your eyes on this winter class-sick (of lowered temperatures/tolerance already))
T’were the weeks signaling winter, when all through my home,
My only ambition was the impulse to moan.
As Me in My(self’s) kerchief,
And I in my cap,
Had just settled in for a long winter’s…crap!
(*What if the Remarkables don’t get that this double entendre is a play on “crappy winter”?! So much for feel-good clean fun! Okay, un-rule-y Truly, how about this…?*)
“Hark, November heralded an un-angelic tune(ing) out whereby—wearied—I’m loathe to Rock(ette) self-care over the winter months”.
Well, to be accurate, it’s not g(r)asping November’s oxygen-sucking property that’s new…
it’s the increased understanding that showing up at work becomes a stifling responsibility when everything in me needs to embrace the higher-self transition process!
So, although warm climes and sunny days have me stubbornly believing that Fridays are weekly Christmas Eves (the prospect of looming Christmas miracles shining bright)…
and Saturdays are when Santa Pause (and reflect) comes to clown…
it would seem I tend to be extra nought-see (the light) by the time the winter Sundays roll around.
For my every stalking (thought) is filled with coal(ed) light of (Mon)day realizations that,
Sundays are Boxing (up my light-hearted aspirations) Days spent packing up notions that I can turn enough of everything around in a two-day/today span.
In other words, I have a much easier time kicking self-compassion into high gear when I don’t have the pressure of doing so in…well…
high gear (*This is where The Rockette’s pun comes home to roost…allowing me to pull up a chair and take a load off my mind*).
The crux of (what’s) the matter is this, Terrifics:
It hurts to stem the tide of my spontaneous emotions and insights.
Those knowings that strain to gather,
to coalesce—to be seen in all their brilliant bursts of liberating understanding—while I’m busy supporting others who are struggling with escalated (cold-and grey-day) challenges.
It hurts to hold back that which wants to surface.
It’s like a swimming instructor who’s held under water while teaching others to stay afloat…no, “oxygen-for-me-first”, to be found there…
And, not to peg November as “Leader of the Flack”—the bad buoy of all woes, if you will…
And, it’s not that I don’t appreciate and value my career…
But, the other truth is, I’ve been working through some really hard times because my spiritual awakening–a particular brand of deep-thoughts magic–must bow to the restrictive parceling-out of ah-ha glimmers outshone by the glare of time’s weekday demands.
The question then becomes,
How much (let-my-mind-relax-and-meander-like-a-leisurely-stream) time is needed when I’m on the verge of huge break-throughs?
And how and where do I find it?
On second thought, the real (and scary) question is,
Is it possible to find it while I’m doing the job I’m doing?
Okay, friends, I just want to take a moment to thank you for sticking it out this far with me!!! 🙂
One of the greatest gifts we can give is listening, and this often means supporting other’s vulnerabilities and challenges even as we bravely sort through what’s getting in our own way.
I know that this isn’t all about me…I’m not the only one going through something at any given time…and, I’m certainly not the only one giving!!!
On the other hand, I recognize that, too often, our instant-gratification-society doesn’t support the process of taking the time to be inspired by success stories…
Instead, our interest is peaked by the last pages where the happy endings are found.
But, without benefit of vital context–the downs and ups…ups and downs…ups and down, down, downs and ups the victor comes through–we miss the desperately-sought clues to discovering our own resilient paths.
So, as much as I look forward to the days when I’ll be celebrated as a game-changing writer who makes a much-needed difference in others’ lives,
those accolades will be icing on the cake!
For, it’s the hear-and-now that will elevate me–and enable me to stay grounded, year-round, as I soar to heights I can’t even imagine.
So, I need to risk entertaining unfolding subject batter…
And, given that soul-to-soul connections make us stronger,
and accelerate our growth,
talking to Me, Myself, and I can only get me so far…I can’t do it alone.
So, in the spirit of give and take, here’s more of me, and I hope it helps more of you 🙂
Yesterday, it suddenly hit me that,
at such young ages,
I found ways to hold on and get through so much that was brutal.
And, I also giggled, guffawed, roared until tears streamed down my face…and, had others doing the same.
And I loved, wondered, imagined, fell in love with music, reading, and writing.
I created, supported, uplifted, entertained, and was a soft spot for so many…
and, bravely (if desperately) sought out–and stumbled upon–soft hearts who loved me as well.
And, if I could do that as a dependent who was of the, drilled-into-me, belief that there was such thing as “too sensitive”–
then, surely I can achieve anything now…
For, my soul has proven to be a tower of strength! 🙂
Wow! I love that I just had that realization, Adorables…and, now that I’m getting somewhere, here’s where I (Christmas) wrap things up.
The “Facts (Of Life”) so far are these:
(*Oh, but first you’ll need this hint/frame of reference:
I often refer to my work-space–shared with five colleagues–as the dorm-room; given my joke that sometimes it feels like (mentally) I never really go home between shifts. And, I always follow this up with a smile and appreciation for my fantastic teammates as I tell them it’s as close to my childhood heart’s desire as I could ever get.*)
Last week, while watching one of those (modern) Christmas movies of the week (this one, a 2016 offering),
I spied actress, Mindy Cohen…
And the next day—while (for the first time) watching, “Meet Me In St Louis”, (a 1944 movie spanning all four seasons)—
I spied a character named Tootie…
(*So, in all fairness to those in need of a Christmas break, I’ll follow this generic thread of inspiration.*)
For those of you lucky enough to have watched the wonderful (1979-1988) television show, “The Facts of Life” (a spin off of “Different Strokes”)–set in Peekskill, New York)–
you’ll understand how seeing Mindy (who played teenager Natalie Green)—
and spying a little girl named Tootie (the name of another character on T.F.O.L.)—
had me reflecting on early-yearnings.
Specifically, my childhood/heart-felt desire to attend (Surf)board(ing) school.
A topical and subject-ive paradise…all (metaphorical) sun and fun never to be outdone…
A magical realm where I could ride the waves instead of being dashed against the rocks and hard places that flanked my existence…
A warm, welcoming, and cozy escape from the (rock) salt-in-the-wounds that hadn’t yet been mitigated by the less Grease!(y) downhill spirals,
and increasing Sandy grit that signaled a ref-huge from a host of (Fall, Winter, and Spring) ups-and-downs, downs and ups, and those su-huh-mmer bli-heights!
So, there you have it, Loveables…
I’ve shared this mind-trip(ping along at the whim of whimsy) to encourage myself to take comfort in knowing that I am meant to be where I’m meant to be right now…
that I can peacefully get through my first Christmas alone in twelve years…
and that I can always count on summer school. 🙂
And, if I’ve brightened your day, or encouraged you in some way, that makes me sooooo very happy!!! And, please know that by the time I share with you, I am in a much, much better head space…I wouldn’t be able to write anything funny otherwise! 🙂
In the meantime, “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life…when the world never seems, to be living up to your dreams, it’s time you started finding out what everything’s all about…” (some tie in lyrics from “The Facts Of Life” theme song).
Until next time, Dazzlers…
Thank you for inspiring me to share…it’s the best way for me to sort out what I need to. Sorry for the lengthy gaps between posts lately. When I first started writing/sharing, I was able to mine archival learnings…now, I need to do research into what’s going on for/with me, first. 🙂
God bless you and your loves.
Affectionately, Truly 🙂
P.S. Correction: I won’t be completely alone for Christmas–I can always count on my sweet dogs, Frosty and Jubilee …and my spirits were also lifted by 6 (declined-but-with-utmost-gratitude) invitations to spend Christmas with 6 different friends/their families. 🙂
P.P.S. As soon as I published this post, I was alerted that I’ve published 100 posts!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! 🙂
P.P.P.S. Context for most of my puns and tie-ins: Starters is British for Appetizers; (1984-1990)”Miami Vice” (Grip) Pun was triggered by the Willy Wonka/chocolate river memory…M.V. opening has the lead actors racing at breakneck speed in a boat while wearing their signature pastel jackets and tee-shirts…hence, my jacket-of-all-trades pun that’s a play on,”Jack of all trades, master of none.”–given my tongue-in-cheek admission that I sometimes give in many different directions, and feel like it’s only band-aids where stitches are needed…tea shirks (tee shirts) is my inside joke–tea is my comfort beverage and I have yet to finish a hot (or cold) cup at work; “T’were the weeks before winter…” is my T’was The Night Before Christmas” play; “Hark, November heralds...” is my play on “Hark The Herald Angels Sing“; “Leader of the Flack” is my “Leader of the Pack” pun…an enduring 1964 hit by the Shangri-las about an irresistible bad boy…buoy is pronounced “boy” in England; by the time I fell in love with the musical, Grease!–which bonded me and one of the most significant best friends I ever had–life and feeling loved was looking up…I used Sandy (the female lead, Olivia Newton John) and grit as double entendres (words that have two meanings) to speak to my resilience–and summer blights (blights–defined by Merriam Webster dictionary as “something that frustrates plans or hopes”) is my play on the lyrics, “…those summer nights” from one of Grease!’s greatest hits (“Summer Lovin'”)–if you remember, this lyric is dragged out at the end…as in “those su-hummer nigh-hiiiiights”…so fun to hear and sing! 🙂