(May 20/17) “Hook, Lyin’, And Sink-Her…”

Hello, Beguilers…just stopping by with thoughts inspired by an online exchange I had with a fellow blogger (and, all around Amazer), Madelyn.

Her latest post,

My Computer has ADD

is wonderfully-delightful, and you’d do well to check it out!  I find it so relatable in that my last tongue-in-cheek post (https://trulyunplugged.com/2017/05/06/april-3017-soyou-had-a-bad-day-write-it-off-and-have-a-great-life/)  was inspired by my determination to ward off self-recriminations—-and that, over the past couple weeks, I’ve consistently/surprisingly stumbled upon proof that I’m not nearly as scattered as I thought I’d been of late.

However, as Madeleine and I were discussing, there are times when we can automatically and unquestioningly  internalize blame and shame…and–along the same lines– we can easily overgeneralize one person’s opinion (assessment), take it to heart, and believe that most everyone else subscribes to the same critical view of us. Confidence shakers such as these fuel the personal myths we tend to script and allow certain others to endorse.

And, while I’m keepin’ it real, I haven’t yet figured out if this brief(ish) offering is proof that I’m becoming more comfortable with “off the cuff” sharing, or because I don’t feel like spending hours crafting something longer…

What I do know is that it is a gorgeous day, and I really need to spend time marveling at the beauty of the outdoors…however, no matter how much or little I share, my appreciation for you never wanes 🙂

So, for what it’s worth…here’s some more of me 🙂

It’s hard not to feel as smug as a bug ON a rug…a red carpet, in fact… suddenly feeling like a super role-model of competence strutting down an (anti)prat walk and—even when caught off guard–turning on a dime with hair-whipping sass and flare.

But, hay now—given new-found recognition that I’ve got horse-sense to spare…

what do I do with the temptation to chew the cud as I mull(ch) over the times that others sat mute as I fell all over myself to take the blame for their clumsy mistakes?

Well, given my recent brain transplant, I needn’t more than a mowment to realize that grudges are weigh (me down) stations, destined to distract me from upward mobility on the path to humility!

“Okay, okay, Enlightened Self,” longstanding me, pipes up, “but what about all those triumphant, and inspiring speeches by celebrities who “casually” call out the unnamed fill-in-the-blankster-pranksters who tried to pull a fast one and cattle-drive—I mean steer—the chosen in the wrong direction?”.

(*I invite you to inject your own poetic (in)justice here…“coach”, “guidance counselor”, “drama teacher”, “reality-show judge”, “dance teacher”, “unrequited high school crush”…you get the idea*)

To which, my Higher Self would smile a small, beatific smile and say, “But we know better than to waste time looking back and risk tripping mid pride-stride, don’t we?”

“Well played, formerly-unrecognized genius…well played.  If I disagree, I’m admitting ignorance…thereby nullifying my opening observation that you and I are much smarter than we gave our self credit for… “

“And”, says Brighter Me in an impulsive rush,  ”you and I aren’t the stuff of celebrity….just sayin’…”

And, unwilling to fight my urges, I choose to ignore this dig and move on to higher ground, Dazzlers.

Yesterday, I came across a video where Ellen DeGeneres addressed an audience at Tulane University—and she talked about how (in 1998) revealing she was gay cost her her career…

“I found out (my sitcom was cancelled) by reading it in the paper…my phone didn’t ring for three years…I was angry, I was sad….but, it was more important that I was true to myself….to my purpose…

and, then I was offered a talk show…”

I found this heartfelt message profoundly poignant, and, could easily relate in that I, too, have chosen to embrace and reveal my authentic self as it reveals itself to me….

Not to say that word-playfully admitting that I’m a recovering people pleaser and over-thinker has anywhere near the same potential for repercussions as “coming out” in a sexual orientation context—but, I mean this with all sincerity and sensitivity—

Whatever the source of our fear and shame, we can be inspired by Ellen’s bravery and tenacity–and allow it to be one of the gifts that encourages us, elevates our spirits, and reminds us to support other’s bids to do the same…thereby, we’ll continue to generate ripples of reciprocity akin to those exemplified by Ellen’s kindness and triumph.

“So, see, Evolving Me, you and I may not be famous, but there are parallels…”

(*And, there you have it folks, intelligence is not the same thing as righteousness…inescapably human, not having the last word with myself is a work in progress…*)

Thanks for listening, Wonderfuls…as ever, your company is such a source of joy!

God bless you and your loves 🙂

Affectionately,

Truly

 

17 thoughts on “(May 20/17) “Hook, Lyin’, And Sink-Her…””

  1. Pingback: My Computer has ADD | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  2. WOW – not only do you create rapidly, you do it with wit and style! I’m impressed.

    I’ve already added a link back here from the bottom of my referenced post (and thank you very much for that) – so if your readers wander down to the comments they will trip upon the dialogue that inspired the line of thinking that led to this great post.

    WELL done! You already suspect, of course, that I agree with every word.

    I’m glad you mentioned that sometimes the internalized comments/judgments/observations that shut us down come from professionals we’ve HIRED to help us out and lift us up. We must remind ourselves that even a professional opinion is still only one person’s **point of view,** especially when they don’t seem to be aware of that little fact themselves.

    And even when we suspect they might be right, that doesn’t have to mean that what we do is wrong. Right?
    xx,
    mgh

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    1. First…bless your heart…thanks for the encouragement…and, yes, each of us is only human–so, the fact that I’m a social worker/mental health professional neither means I’m the authority on “balance” and having it all figured out….my job is not to judge, but to help others discover all the ways they are increasingly amazing….to help them discover the key to unlocking their own awesomeness as they define it 🙂

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  3. Short answer…yes…it’s interesting that some people take it upon themselves to thrust unsolicited advice (directives….shoulds…need-toos) at others….I’m not certain what the source of this is (there are many factors that come into play) but I don’t find it helpful beyond using it to practice shaking it off if I find it trying to stick to me….and, as a reminder to self to be respectful of other’s choices, perspectives etc…I try to follow the if-you-have-nothing-nice-to-say-say-nothing-at-all live-and-let-live mottos (not that I’m a saint) 🙂

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  4. BnS … Blame and Shame, you two brought up Catholic by any chance? Heaping their believers in shame and Guilt are their speciality.
    Glad to hear you are healing and moving on from people pleasing, rejoice in being you for when you are authentic you thrive and we get inspired! 🙂

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  5. love this post… sometimes loving others is easier than loving oneself. (this includes overlooking others flaws while exaggerating our own).

    While I don’t often get down on myself because of the words of others… it does happen. What I find awesome is that there are people like you who counter the words of others. It is easy to ignore criticism when we have a voice another persons words showing us otherwise.

    on a different note… sometimes I read a paragraph and have to stop and re-read it over and over. Here is one of the paragraphs you wrote that I just love…

    “It’s hard not to feel as smug as a bug ON a rug…a red carpet, in fact… suddenly feeling like a super role-model of competence strutting down an (anti)prat walk and—even when caught off guard–turning on a dime with hair-whipping sass and flare.”

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    1. Thanks for your uplifting feedback…it made me feel so good that I wrote another post today (I made mention of you at the end 🙂 ). Also, your favorite paragraph is mine, too…could’t help feeling pretty delighted by it 🙂

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  6. Truly, I was incredibly “mooooved” by this wonderful post. So many terrific cow puns I hadn’t herd before.
    And I appreciated what you wrote about Ellen. Her courage trumped “cow”ardice.
    Loved your post and wish you a beautiful day!

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      1. I see you did that, Truly. I am very blessed by your love and support. Thank you!
        I will continue to feed you puns. I love them. Love your writing and depth, too. Wish we could “cud”dle someday!

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      2. You are such a creative person in sooooo many ways…and, is such a privilege and pleasure to witness (see, hear, feel)….I love that you embrace your life….that you stick with yourself through good times and not…that you use the best in you to get through the challenges…that is the key to success…thanks for being such a great inspiration 🙂 ❤

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  8. I first saw the play “Man of La Mancha” when I was a girl…a hundred years ago. I’ve never forgotten it. Our purpose in life — our quest — may be great or small. But if we pursue it wholeheartedly, whether we win or lose does not matter. Honor lies in the pursuit. ❤

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