(Jan. 12/17) “Ebony and Irony…”

First things first…I love that you’re here, Fantastics….thank you so much for showing up 🙂

Next comes…

Context:  

Words At Play.  Proceed with caution(ary tale), and t-read  lightly as you follow my lead.  For, given the sharp turns to follow, you’ll immediately find yourself skating on thin ice if you try to skim the surface. 

And, Loveables, I hope I didn’t sound bossy just then, it’s just that, continuing the theme of my usual type (Times New Roman, font–12) posts, I hope you come to understand— the magic of my offerings lies in my sleight of write….

….a things-aren’t-quite-what-they-seam(less) approach to the (off)hand is quicker than the (mind’s) eye trickery.

(BTY—“seamless” pun is not evidence of bragging: it refers to (depending how you look at it) a lack—and/or an overabundance—of mental boundaries…not evidence of literary genius 🙂 ).

Are your skates tied nice and tight, friends?  Okay.  Here we go…

So, as per, Amazers, today I found myself at a loss as to how to share what was yet to reveal itself.

And, while—initially and internally—eye rolls ensued, I can’t say there was nothing Bonnie about this “Total Eclipse of the (st)Heart”.

For, once I found merit in my melodramatic inability to (Colonel) muster a Clue to the mystery of where to begin, I

(*with a flourishing wave of my hand…a la Mr. Rourke/Fantasy Island style*)

said to my Gloria(s) self,

“Self, it’s time for some, “Free Your Mind“, exuberance by way of reverting to the nostalgic days of Laura-Brand again…”

“Come on, Spectacular Wise-Cackler”, enthused I…

“Tease your hair!”

(*Electric) Slide over to the gilded mirror, stick your tongue out, and wave a can of Final Net hairspray around with your finger hovering tantalizingly above the spray nozzle…*)

“Don we now our spray (on) apparel!”

(*Throw-back reference to (super-tight) pink stove-pipe cords, and Greece! spandex pants from Dec. 26/16, “Crude Looks Like It’s Lazy…” post*)

“Put on a pair of silver ankle boots!”

(*with heels as high as our dashed hopes for our (then) best friends and us marrying best friends and living next door to each other for life….*)

“Then, we’ll tackle this thing with all the ambitious adolescent folly once reserved for holding the last note of,  1980 power-ballad, “I’m All Out Of Love”.

(*FYI self, we’ve all but come to accept that, “My breath’s too abate to say that I was so wrong”*)

Okay, My Precious-es….If you’ll allow, I’m hitting the Pause Button to make a couple points:

For those wondering, “Why oh why must it be this way?”, my tendency to talk to (me) myself (and, I) is not a ploy to be dismissive, or to invite you over for a meal and then eat in front of you (so to speak)…

My (coping) strategy is the written equivalent of not being able to look you directly in the eye as I share my unravelling first and second thoughts….

Speaking of which…

If Snoop Dog can make up words in the name of artistic license, surely the Graham-ar police can’t (out of) cite me for using the word “abate” out of context…

(*Hmm, I wonder…is it just Snoop now? I can’t keep up with what’s En Vogue these days*)

Any old who, I think the bigger issue is the “irony” that Air Supply’s huge hit causes fans to (literally) run out of melodic breathing room…

But, I digre…

Oh, and speaking of ironic, here’s a shoutout/call-you-out to another awesome talent…

“Hey, Alanis, I’m quite sure you’re as amazing as you sound, but, there’s no “i(rony)” in conundrum”.

No condescension intended, but let me spell it out for you 🙂

An example of irony is—A teacher announces that it’s time for a spelling bee, and…

a bee with black-framed glasses,  and a yellow and black striped shirt (with requisite pocket protector) flies into the room and spells a word as long as an Air Supply-lack-of-breath conundrum that’s exceeded only by the amount of time spent resenting the fact that you’ve been offered a “free ride when you’ve already paid…”

To put too fine a point on it, “rain on your wedding day…and the good advice that you just didn’t take…” is, by definition, an–“I can’t believe my sucky luck”–problem…known in fancy circles as a conundrum (not to be confused with those boring old mistakes we make over and over–otherwise known as ho-hums and conun-dumbs).

However, Lovelies and Lovely Laddies, just as “Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony…” there are always vast arrays of ways for people to see eye to eye if they choose to…

So, I invite all on Team Alanis to come join team Pick-Apart on common (sense-makes-the world-go-round) ground.

If we pool our collective compassion, we can bolster our hopes for growth by walking a mile in another’s shoes.

For illustrative purposes, may I suggest that Kramer be our role model, given that he is, inarguably, a grand conundrum-defier if ever there was one?

Very kind of you 🙂

For those unfamiliar with the sitcom, “Seinfeld”, the Kramer character (part of an ensemble cast) has

no job…

(but can afford a really nice New York apartment),

no couth…

(but has loyal friends even after serving them a meal that included veggies he rinsed while taking a shower),

no shame…

(he confidently paraded around town in a woman’s fur coat),

and no boundaries…

(he isn’t the intended star of the show, but whenever he unceremoniously barges into Jerry Seinfeld’s apartment (which is the only way he ever announces his presence), the studio audience bursts into applause).

However—and here comes the entire post-tie-in

There’s a hilarious episode (aren’t they all), where—obstinately-determined to prove he still has the body of his youth—Kramer Wranglers himself into a pair of dark denim delights…only to find that,

the too-tight jeans have restricted all lower body mobility!

As he lurches around—all stiff-legged, like a modern day Frankenstein (with his trademark Bride of Frankenstein hairstyle)—a series of embarrassing calamities ensue….and it is all Kramer can do to get out of them.

The moral of this cautionary tale is this, Wonderfuls:

Don’t fall for the mainstream, one size fits all, approach to being your best you, and living your best life…For, (literally and metaphorically) trying to hold on to what used to–and/or what we are told is supposed to—fit doesn’t allow for growth…

For, nothing ironic about it,  such is the stuff of life’s conundrums and iron-knees.

So, taking a page from band, Blondie’s, (1980) songbook, I end with this…

The Tide is High“—so, be careful what you fish for, you just might net it…and find yourself in over your head over eels….

As always, Wonderfuls….I am sooooo grateful for our connection, your time, and your support.

God bless you and your loves.

Affectionately, Truly 🙂

P.S.

P.P.S. Context for the more obscure wordplay:

Sleight of write is a play on Sleight of hand” (the term most often associated with magic/magicians (the-hand-is-quicker-than-the-eye redirection that allows them to (wonderfully) pull the wool over our eyes); Bonnie Tyler has a hit with (1983) power ballad, “Total Eclipse of the Heart “; Clue is a 1949 murdermystery board game, and Colonel Mustard is one of the characters; “Gloria” (1982) is another dramatic power ballad (I love it still) sung by Laura Branigan; “Free Your Mind” is a 1992 hit by girl (power) group, En Vogue, and “why oh why must it be this way?” is a line from that song; the Electric Slide is an old-school disco dance; Final Net is an old-school hairspray (if interested, Google “70’s commercial for final net hairspray” and you’ll get a great frame of reference for big haired expectations 🙂 ); “Don we now our spray (on) apparel” is play on Christmas carol lyric (“…don we now our gay apparel, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la); “My breath’s too abate (“abate”as a verb, refers to diminishing)  to say that I was so wrong” is a playful stretch on “I’m All Out Of Love”‘s last line, “I can’t be too late to say that I was so wrong”; Graham-ar police is a pun in that duo Air Supply consists of Graham Russell and Russell Hitchcock; Alanis Morissette has a 1996 hit, “Ironic“, and “it’s like rain of your wedding day…and the good advice that you just didn’t take” are lyrics from that awesome song; “Ebony and Ivory” is a 1982 hit/ballad sung by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, and “live together in perfect harmony” are among the lyrics; Wranglers are a brand of jean (back in the day when Levis jeans reigned supreme, Wranglers were their undesirable, uncool (and much less expensive) poor relations.  Wrangle can also mean to wrestle (as in wrestling oneself into a pair of  (no-stretch) pants no one has any call to be trying to fit into 🙂 ); be careful what you fish for, you just might net it is a play on the expression, “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it”, and–find yourself in over your head over eels is a play on “head over heels”; iron-knees is a wordplay tied to the visual of Kramer being unable to sit down or bend his knees when wearing aforementioned tight jeans.

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34 thoughts on “(Jan. 12/17) “Ebony and Irony…”

  1. Loved this… you taught me something… hadn’t thought much about irony versus conundrum… by the way conundrum in french can be translated as casse-tête (head breaker ).

    …and on a complete tangent….. (as if the casse-tête comment wasn’t already)

    Kramer has always been my hero… sorry but you mentioned him so I am going to list off some of my favorites Kramer moments:

    I loved his idea of a coffee table book about coffee tables… and if you didn’t have a coffee table… it had fold out legs that turned it into a coffee table (as seen on Cathy and Regis)

    Who can forget when he found the Merv Griffen set and put it up in his apartment ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RGxs8jzcUo )

    When he got fired from a job he never had… (“but I don’t even work here”… “I know that is why this is so hard”)

    Underwear model! and the smoking (“Look away I am hideous”)…

    His entire hollywood experience… from mistaken for a serial killer to being on the Murphy Brown show.

    There is also an obscure moment where he bought a pizza and had his coat warmed up in the pizza oven… (I could especially relate to this… in college I didn’t have a dryer so I dried my clothes in the oven… had a date tell me I smelled like food)

    I had better stop so the last one… Kramerica… would have loved to be an intern… there is actually a facebook page for Kramerica Industries (https://www.facebook.com/Kramerica-Industries-120549141899/)

    thanks for making me have a think about Kramer morning… not sure that was your goal but that is where I went.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I recall each of the episodes you’re talking about…the Merv Griffin one is an all-time favourite of a friend I used to know…Kramer is hilarious but for some reason, George is my favourite…probably because he is such an idiot…funny in a sitcom, but a person I wouldn’t be drawn to in real life…that is what makes sitcoms great…they make you laugh at things you would cringe at in real life…as far as Seinfeld references, Kramer provides the best material to draw from….I love that my post got you thinking things that amuse you…that’s what posts are for, to get the mind roaming where it will….thank you your wonderful response 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh, my gosh…I just watched the clip and forgot how funny it was…the way Kramer looks at the camera…too funny. And did you see how self-absorbed George is…he didn’t even skip a beat because he is so wrapped up in his own stuff….and, when Kramer and Jerry were laughing, it made me laugh…they are a collection of characters all right…I love, love, love that show…thanks for the clip 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Last thing I’ll mention (you’ve got me on a roll)….did you ever see the out-takes of the show when Jerry couldn’t stop laughing when they were taping the episode where Kramer had been smoking…and was much the worse for wear? Jerry couldn’t look at him without being overcome with laughter! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I did see that… and it is hard not to laugh along with him. I hate to admit this but I thought of another favorite Kramer moment when you spoke about the tight pink cords… I thought of Kramer saying “I am out there Jerry and loving every minute of it…” Here is the clip if you don’t remember

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Snoop Dog nonsense waxing lyrical as an artiste…mind locked onto this as nonsense proves grammar and proper words make not always a good story….

    ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.”

    I ought to choose other Wonderstuff than this…but one just loves Jaberwocky…as any who know me will know already…however, in order to diversify I will drop in the first stanza of The Jumblies by Edward Lear…

    “They went to sea in a sieve, they did;
    In a sieve they went to sea:
    In spite of all their friends could say,
    On a winter’s morn, on a stormy day,
    In a sieve they went to sea.
    And when the sieve turned round and round,
    And every one cried, “You’ll all be drowned!”
    They called aloud, “Our sieve ain’t big;
    But we don’t care a button, we don’t care a fig:
    In a sieve we’ll go to sea!”
    Far and few, far and few,
    Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
    Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
    And they went to sea in a sieve.”

    I know this might not be my usual reply rich in word puns…or, in keeping, the double modifier (The The) and erstwhile text speak before texts were invented (U2)….”Money For Nothing” kind of thing for those in Dire Straits…but I feel ode dropping is where this post lead me. You angled the dangle Truly with “rudd” and line…verbal “carp”-ing with a “flounder”-ing “dab” of troutal genius.

    ‘Twas brillag” indeed 😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hahahahhahahaha….utterly delightful, my friend…thank you. Also, tomorrow is Saturday and I will be reading/commenting on your novel…I read 2 more chapters yesterday and am more than half way through….but the time I finished reading, I had to gulp down and Neocitran and it made my head fuzzy, and I didn’t trust myself to write a lucid comment…but, I will after tomorrow’s read…I will say, however, your novel continues to be a spellbinding read…just excellent 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can’t pass by anything that starts the nonsense words up….you know I can’t resist Alice based things 😊 As for my novel…oh my, half way through and not given up!! Scary stuff….and I’m actually very interested to see what you make of the second half. But can’t say much more at the moment…spoilers and all that 😱

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Strangely enough, when I put my mind to growing, rather than being stuck in pain and confusion, all the funny comes to the surface very naturally 🙂 Thank you for your loyal support and positive regard…it never gets old, my friend 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m always left amazed, your posts set off all these wonderful delights in my head and leave me smiling! As I read your lines about Kramer, I could see him in all his kinetic glory as if I was watching Seinfeld all over again. Bravo!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Pretty sure I slipped on the ice a couple times (and picked myself back up!) but was quite proud of myself when I did manage to intuit the double-entendre of some of the phrases…but I may be too young for others (I was born in the 80s), so thank you for the handy guide at the end. 😀

    You’re tie in with Kramer, Wrangler jeans and “wrangling” into some cookie cutter mold is quite brilliant (I hope I’ve grasped the double-meaning here accurately!) Your mind processes information on so many intricate levels. To be able to make such connections using the power of words is incredible.

    Love and light.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’ve made my heart soar…you get me….that is the best feeling, because, although I could write in a more straight forward way, I really enjoy writing in riddles….you got the Kramer references perfectly….I’m so impressed. It is one thing for me to understand where I am coming from, but it is a whole other thing for the reader to be able to follow…and, the slipping and picking yourself back up is a big part of what I hope gives the reader satisfaction…as sense of accomplishment for eventually understanding really abstract thinking….which is almost like learning a new language….you have really made my day….thank you for hanging in and working through my messages….by the way, one of my loyal supporters is a medical doctor, and he lets me know that he has to read, and re-read in order to get all of the references…same with other really bright readers (which, all of my supporters are 🙂 ). Extra credit goes to you, given that you are so young 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Now I feel proud! 😀 We get so caught up in instant gratification and having to speed read and consume everything…it’s nice to have to slow down and really absorb the written word every once in a while, so thank you for the experience. 😀 Words, writing, poetry, prose…it’s all magic! The world is truly at your feet when you have command of the written word…or so I believe. 😛 Ty for the kind words! 😀 Love and light.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. I love reading your explanations because your wit is sometimes way over my head. But this is a riot because I remember all of those songs so well. Now you have them playing in my head – wow!
    So excited to have found your blog and looking forward to more. 🙂
    I consider you a writing genius.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Judy….remember you asked how you could thank me? Now we are in the same boat….thank you soooooo much for your kind words and appreciation…my heart is singing. And, if it helps, I include the explanations because everyone else needs them as well….you’ve really made my night and I know that when I awake, I will reflect on your comment and beam…thank you so much…I love that we’ve connected 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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