(Dec. 26/16) “Crude Looks Like It’s Lazy…”

Context: While I’m not one to pander to sex (sells) appeal, that’s not why I didn’t include the link to the song that inspired the title of this post, Wonderfuls.  

In fact, I Googled/watched the video, and found it utterly entertaining, and somewhat amusing (given it’s unabashed, over the top, rock’n’roll lack of apology).  

(*If you haven’t made the title-connection, it–and other obscure wordplays–will be revealed at the end of this post*)

However, I didn’t want to risk offending anyone who might find the video irredeemably irreverent. 

Having said that, if you do Google/watch it, you might consider that it serves as evidence that not everything in life is black or white…

And that merit can be found in unlikely (imperfect) places…

For, all sur-thrivers (like rock star, Steven Tyler–whose talents and career have spanned decades and decades) are incredibly tenacious and resilient… thus worthy of admiration!

This is the conviction that inspired today’s post.

Dear Diar-restraints,

I think something we can agree on is that my messages are not fair-weather penned

In fact, on recent occasions, you’ve asserted that I have a habit of showing up most often when our mood is of the fowl variety

Well, if that’s the angle you want to play, soul sister, then (Cornishgame (hen) on.

However, never let it be said that I don’t have your back….

After all, remember that long-ago time when you were convinced that that iridescent fuchsia jump suit was just the thing for New Year’s Eve festivities?

Well, Ms. “Dream Weaver”, given that things aren’t always what they seam, who was it convinced you to crane your neck…

thereby allowing hind-sight to disabuse you of the (sewing) notion that we could hold it together for a rear end…


I mean–year-end–celebration the second (helping) we tried to sit down?

And, that’s not a criticism.

Lord, it would be much to my surprise if we had the body of a Venus, 

given that the

holiday season–for (“Don’t Stop) Believin”–

took us on a deluded (and barely-diluted) “Journey”

and convinced us that the caloric-consequences of a hearty appetite

could be countered by a

party-hardy appetite for (spiked) egg-nog-induced- dance-fests!

And, in the interest of retrospectives/lessons learned–

given the impeding (cold) light of (New Year’s) day–

let’s face it…

There were never gonna be enough frenzied,

(“Give Me A Break”) dance-offs to challenge our slow-dancing metabolism!

But, flawed theory notwithstanding, who among us wasn’t carrying some extra stuffing, by “late December (back in /63)“?

…Or, in our case,  /83.

And, let’s remember that…

on rare occasions,

80’s fashions were notorious for stretching the bounds of good taste…

Especially, garments constructed of zip-up-in-the back


There’s no way those under-achievers were ever going to be Bootylicious, child…and weren’t destined to include elast-


until spandex became all the Rage (Against the unyeilding jean Machine) a couple decades later.

(*FYI: Back in the day, elastane, now known by its less a-lurex-ing name–spandex–was reserved for skin-tight, uber glistening pants worn by the likes of pop stars Olivia Newton-John (a la “Greece”), Madonna…and, rock stars.  However,  bold as brash as the 80’s were, upper-body fabrics were in short supply…often of the bustier  variety….with no long sweaters, tunics, or modesty-preserving tee-shirts to be seen*)

Anyway, to get to the–

(*depending on your mood*)

highly-anticipated, or…

“I’ll humour you, but this better be good….”–point.

As you know, this morning’s Facebook memory—dated one year ago—went a little something like this…

“You know how we can “put ourselves out there”, and–given someone’s reaction (or lack of)–we might jump to negative conclusions about ourselves?

Well, metaphorically speaking, that’s as misguided as Adele or Mariah Carey believing they haven’t any talent, all because others refuse to join them in a duet.

In other words…

Dare to believe that your authenticity is that amazingly-intimidating….and, keep going 🙂 

Now, don’t get me wrong: I love the enthusiasm and confidence in our well-meaning,



But, I also know us very well–

sometimes too well, I fear…

You have to admit, there have been times when we’ve gone too far;

belting out a high-ly-dubious range of TMI/notes (to self) far beyond the scope of Mariah’s abilities…

And, I’m not trying to be Cruel To Be Kind, here, but…

letting it all hang out isn’t always an admirable quality…

(*Remember when we were pinky (roller) skating with our best friend, Lois–

at Dixon Arena?

(Probably to a Blondie, Pat Benatar, or Billie Joel uptempo number (one) )

And you/we didn’t realize that,

when Lois accidentally tripped us as we were doing cross-cuts,

you and I ripped our powder pink, stove-pipe, no back pockets

(and no give by any stretch of the imagination…how did we even get our foot into the ankle-opening)


And it wasn’t until we skated another (overly-confident) lap that a sweet little girl told us that we had a rip in our pants!!!

Remember how mortified we were by our choice to forgo underwear, in favor of pantyhose,

so that our stylin’-and-profilin’ glory wouldn’t be marred by panty lines?*)

Well, on days when you are feeling “at one with the world”,

you–okay, we–are likely to reveal that kind of way-too much…

So, I’m sharing what I’m sharing in a bid to spare us from that kind of future embarassment!

(*And, yes, there’s an obvious pun in the last word of the above sentence ;  butt, like I told the Wonderfuls in the very beginning, there’s no challenge in going for low hanging Fruit (of the Looms)…it’s lazy*).

Second point:

In the privacy of our own thoughts, we can laugh at ourselves–without fear of being judged Hosers for our faux pas

Afterall, there was no seamless option to smooth the way for the transition between that long-ago-era and Spanx.

However, let’s be careful…we can’t blindly trust everyone with our vulnerabilities.

And, last, and most importantly, my better half–

Just as it is easy to dismiss many things that are far from perfect (eg. some really great songs of today, that, in my opinion, lose their appeal when accompanied by gratuitously sexual videos), we needn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater…that’s why we’re such such a huge fan of radio.

So, too, with people…

There are so many who are doing their best with what they have…they are driven to contribute to the good in the (seehear and now …

And, you and I are continually striving to be counted among those numbers…

But, I’m not always on the same page as you, my best self…

So, I’m counting on you to remind us that, although doing our best will not preclude missteps–

it’s all part of the learning, growing, giving and receiving process…

And that, as long as our heart is in the right place,

we’ll be blessed with timely reminders that there are people who see past our shortcomings…

and who appreciate the efforts of those flawed human beings who dare to put themselves “out there”…

And, for my part, I will do my best to bring it to our attention whenever I recognize we are getting too big for our britches 🙂

And, please know, Givers and Receivers Extraordinaire, 

as with all beautiful and imperfect things in life,  your highly-redeeming qualities shine so brightly!

Until next time…

God bless you and your loves…and, thank you for being here… 🙂

P.S. Here’s a link for “December 1963 (Oh What A Night”)….Although not the inspiration for my title, I was thrilled when it came to mind today…one of the things I really love about sharing with you…I never know what will come flooding back 🙂

P.P.S: Context for most of my word-play:

Fair-weather friend is an expression meaning, someone who’s only around when things are good (making “penned” a writing pun); foul, meaning “unpleasant”, makes for a fowl pun, and game on is an expression equivalent to “let’s do this” or “bring it on”;  Dream Weaver is a ( 1975) hit by Gary Wright—ironic given that I was wrong in my longstanding belief that it was an early Aerosmith song (I  just realized that when I Googled to find the year of release); “Dude (Looks Like A Lady)”, (1987) is one of Aerosmith’s classic/hit songs, and includes the lyrics–“Never judge a book by its cover…“, and, “She had the body of a Venus, Lord, imagine my surprise, dude look like a lady…” (hilarious, clever, and sooooo funky…I still love that song 🙂 );  perenial favourite, Journey had/has a (1981) hit, “Don’t Stop Believin’; hearty appetite and party-hardy are expressions reflecting considerable capcity to indulge (the first refers to food, the second to alcoholic beverages–while I haven’t had any kind of liquor in forever, I still looooove eggnog!); “Give Me A Break” was a (1981-1987) sitcom that included a young Joey Lawrence of future “Blossom” fame (and, FYI, Blossom was played by Miam Bialik who plays Amy Farah Fowler on sitcom, “Big Bang Theory”)–and, did you catch break dance pun?  Break dancing exploded on the 80’s dance scene;”December, 1963 (Oh What A Night)” was/is a (1975) Four Seasons hit; Bootylicious is a Destiny’s Child, 2001 hit; elastane, lurex, and spandex are interchangeble/elastic fabrics–although, lurex is the most showy (very sparkly, so less versatile); bold as brash is bold as brass (expression) pun; Rage Against The Machine is an American band that emerged in 1992, and is revered for musical protestations; TMI means “too much information”; “Cruel To Be Kind” (1979 hit) by Nick Lowe; “low hanging fruit” is an expression–in this context, going for the easy/obvious pun–and Fruit of the Loom is a long-selling brand of underwear; Hoser is an old school, (playful) put-down made famous by equally-buffoonish fictitious (Canadian) brothers, Bob and Doug Mackenzie of SCTV fame (first introduced in 1980); “too big for your (his/her) britches”–britches are pants, and this expression means someone is getting to cocky/smug/superior.


22 thoughts on “(Dec. 26/16) “Crude Looks Like It’s Lazy…”

  1. Fun post… I am still laughing about the ripped pink cords… On another “note”… interestingly your last song reminded me of my wife’s favorite singer (childhood favorite not sure she still likes him… other than he brings back great memories for her).

    Claude Francois

    He also sang this song (I think kind of ruined it…). I watched many of his videos because my wife and her friends would watch this singer and his back up group of lady dancers and follow along… (trying to learn all of the moves…)

    here is his version

    (you can picture my wife and her friends dancing along… She actually showed me another song and danced along it… which had my kids and I laughing to tears…)

    Sorry for sharing so much…. (by the way I never got the “Dude looks like a lady” song… I remember thinking I must be miss hearing the words)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When I copied and pasted the URL it just brought me to YouTube, but not directly to Claude…so, I Googled his name and saw a video where he was singing “My Way” (in French), but I looked for something more up tempo and found “Belles, Belles, Belles”…his dancing was hilarious…it was a version of the twist I think….can you find out what the title of the songs were that your wife danced to–I’d love to see them…also, don’t be sorry for sharing…it is very flattering and kinda evens out the inside scoop that you are privy to now that I’ve dredged up some embarrassments from the past….the pink cords piece was completely true…I really glad you found it funny…it made me laugh to think of you laughing 🙂 Thanks for the wonderful comment and for sharing 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh-oh…I think I found the video….a bunch of back-up dancers are wearing outlandishly skimpy/shiny outfits…it’s a remix, and right now they are boogyin’ down to December 63….and a bunch of other songs….I love it!!! hahahaha

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is delightfully-hilarious…and endearing….I can imagine your wife and her friends earnestly practicing the dance moves…much as my friends and I practiced the Solid Gold dancers’ moves. And that Claude looked like he was having the time of his life 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. As usual your stories bring a smile to my face. My own cords were baby blue, I didn’t go for pink much back then, but judging by this particular story, you were much more daring than me! Thanks for sharing again my friend and have the most wonderful New Year.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think Lois’s were a pale lavender…Kim (her sister) had a pink pair, and Jennifer had a lavender pair (the four of us were inseparable for a couple summers and we loved our jeans….we used to shop at The Pant Barn and thought it was the height of fashion…great memories when one can filter out all the angst that went along with trying to grow up to be cool 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Most often, a few puns occur to me out of the blue (usually first thing in the mornings) and I jot them down–and when context occurs to me, that’s when I start writing the post. With the rare exception, I write over a span of 2 or 3 days–takes about 12 hours in total because I write a bit, read and re-read…then I write some more. The wordplay/puns come really easy, but making the links and creating flow is the tricky part…my mind has to be relaxed.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I think most people would experience it your way…I tend to overthink if my mind is not completely relaxed and focusing on one thing…but the worldplay comes so spontaneously that I don’t have time to overthink it—it makes (delightful) sense to me right away. Wishing you Happy New Year as well 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Pun-acious D strikes back once again my dear friend. The “message in a bottle” drifting between self Talk Talk and wider Muse-ings.

    Again there is Wonderstuff embedded within your words and an Undertone(s) of the self (No) Doubt that settles inside, dresses up and pretends not to exist….but we know it does…shh….underneath it throws Careless Whispers all the time,

    But eighties throwbacks to Fashion, (one of the first great tragic losses of 2016), are very cringeworthy…big hair and…no….can’t go there…must Erasure….I have pictures of Uni….shocking stuff that is…yet at the time was it not passing off as cool? Although Goth attire was rather interesting….

    Fabulous post once more my clever authoress friend…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Alas a few musical quips drop into Rose too, if you haven’t noticed yet! I know not if they are humorous as things like this just flow faster than I can process them. However, you and I have a certain synergy methinks 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Four chapters…that means you have been to the gym yes and met the grave of Chloe…which is one of my sadder bits….her demise I told in Half a Twin in one of my blog posts here. That was the very first piece of fiction I wrote in case you wondered what that might have been. A terrible tragedy that gave me key characters including Dave…crosslinks there if you have never seen that blog post. I’m really pleased if you think my style is unique though 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It’s life though…I try to tap into life in a way that connects a reader to what’s happening…some of it is really hard to do too… Although…a secret exposed…in true you and I conundrum fashion….there is a line said by Jake to Roland Deschain, “Go then, there are other worlds than these.” Some of my writing connections are not all they seem to be at first glance 😇

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m wandering again…this post is so timely (as always!), I just heard Gary Wright’s song on the radio recently and it sent me back in time…summer is slowly turning into fall and then the frenzy of the holidays will start up once again! I hope this note finds you well and happy, my friend…your words have left me smiling!


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