(CONTEXT: It’s been months since I’ve shown/shone up this way…and, this shorter post came to me as I searched for the motivation to finish a nearly-completed post I started weeks ago. And, I want to connect more consistently…as was the trend when I started baring my soul nearly 3 years ago…a means of encouraging myself to grow while doing what I can to help those I can 🙂 )
Here’s something that DIDN’T happen this week.
The target of passive-aggression—AKA, passing aggression—
(*As in…“I was just getting…(*ahem*) going by so I thought I’d stop for another quick dig that I’m smugly convinced will go over your naive head”*)
I did not feel two things.
- I did not feel a reflexive people-pleasing urge to compound the thinly-veiled insults by blurting self-deprecating collusions…
- Nor did I feel a surge of resentment…an internal tirade peppered with vows to never forget and never, never trust the tiny snake who immediately tries to wriggle off the hook by smiling and acting as benign as a vulnerable worm who had a momentary lapse of judgement born of insecurities triggered by the bigger fish I need to fry.
And, yes, dear listeners…
I’m fully aware that un-feeling number two comes off as an over-blown grudge…
a vindictive position that just won’t budge…
But, there’s no clear (headed) measure of progress if rough roads are denied their, “Due-(d,not cool!).”
So…there you have it—
A glimpse into my past thought-processes when faced with light-dimmers.
But, my double-edged—“I s-word to tell the truth”—also brings us to the bright side, Dazzlers…
Metaphorically speaking, my
(I’m-on-my-way to—”Look out) point!” is this—
Making (it) out with bigger picture(esque) revelations in tact(ful approaches well in hand…)
(*Oops, that well-in-hand bit is not meant to be salacious!*)
Let me try that again…
What I mean to convey is:
Years of hard work have resulted in an elevated perspective…
I’m increasingly motivated to build on my successes.
“Well, look at you! 😊”—says I to me—“Instead of wasting time on offences, you’re cozying up to the notion that passive-aggression is an unsolicited delivery…
A sign (for your baggage here) that a manipu-hater is trying to bring you down a peg (leg) given the mistaken belief that their validation is a needed crutch.”
Yep…that’s the opportunity for growth I was given a couple times (same person) this week, Terrifics…
And, finding myself in my ele-meant (to be just where I am),
I’m gratified to share anything you might find useful.
For, if we’re on the same page, we agree that celebrating how far we’ve come is especially important given our tendencies to dwell on roads yet to be traveled—
(* Sounds something like… “I should have been where I’m heading a long time ago!”…”What if I run out of gas?!”…”What if I can’t afford to buy more gas?!…”What if there’s a gas shortage and rations are only for the chosen?”…and so on, ad nausea-“uhm(, what will I do then?!”*)
So, I’m choosing self-encouragement over fear (of failure, of losing connections, of being ostracized in some way…)
Which reminds me of a time that fear literally chased me into the metaphorical deep end of the pool:
I was 10 or 11 years old…
(The first real vacation I’d ever been on—Barbados with my family)
and a little (black?) dog caught me unawares.
Having spied him, I made a run for it…so did he…
I jumped into the deep end of the hotel pool (despite the fact I can’t swim).
to the untrained I,
reckless abandon (and abject embarrassment and shame) appeared to be the best option!
Thank goodness my older brother jumped into action and saved me from drowning 😊
And, that happy ending sets the (just going through a) stage for this happy ending, dear hearts:
through trial (after try-all) and error,
I’ve discovered that life is wonderfully unpredictable if given the chance to show you what it’s made of!
Years later…and in a process of events I cannot account for, I fell madly in love with dogs…all dogs! 😊
Currently, I have two (Jubilee, age 14; and Wheeler, 5 months old); and, if I were to win the lottery, I can only imagine…
(Conversely, I’ve developed a phobia where snakes are concerned…mind-blowingly, as kids, my brother and I eagerly sought them out …roaming grassy expanses and leaving no-stone-unturned as it were).
Anyway, I’ve shared what occurred this week to illustrate that fear is often a vehicle for maintaining status quo limitations…
And, it can only run away with us when we fill its tank by colluding in its— passing-aggressive (and/or, direct)—manipulations…
So, as I become braver,
I greet fear with increasing compassion and think,
“Because I know that—in your own fumbling way—you’re trying to protect me, I forgive you…
and I forgive (otherwise likable) souls who stumble when they are threatened by my successes.”
(I had a great week this week…’took some relationship/connection risks that really paid off 😊)
I sincerely thank you for indulging me as I humor you in my quirky way 🙂
I love that we’re traveling this little slice of life together; and I look forward to the next time we connect.
God bless you and your loves.