(Jan. 29/17) “Here’s The Long of the Short of It”.

Context: Hello, Wonderfuls 🙂  This is the kind of writing I do for myself…but, given your response to (Jan 22/17) “This Looks Different, But Is More Of The Same”, I share this in the event you’ll find it has value.  Other than the title, it’s riddle-less–and, too long to use as Context for my next regular-type post, it stands alone.

It suddenly occurs to me that–where sadness is concerned–retrospections can be misleading in the following sense.

As I look back on how my life unfolded in past decades and decades, I realize that I was happier and more contented than my current/waning grief remembers–and, this is because, for all those years, the bar had been set much lower…I didn’t know, then, that I could have a life such as the one I’m living now…and, even more so, the life that is on the horizon.

And, in the moment it took for this spontaneous spark of insight to coalesce into a flickering flame, I  tentatively tested the warmth of its hope…

And, ever curious, I dare to keep wondering/wandering…

I dare to consider that I’ve found a context for nurturing a new neuro pathway–a groove in my brain– whereby revisionist history doesn’t have me trapped in a rut of overblown/ demoralizing  reminiscences and assessments.

The simplest way I can explain it is this…

I know how hard I can laugh, I know the depth of delight I can feel, I know how huge my capacity to love is, how abundant my attitude of gratitude….and that I can be loyal to a fault…and (in the past) that fault manifested as exaggerated mitigation–an inflated perception of other’s redeeming qualities.

And, given this knowing, I remember that, blissful ignorance being what it was, in my dimmer decades, I experienced more happiness  and connection (no matter how superficially-deep) than my enlightened self could be expected to assume….until, now that is….and, here is where I find that, yet again, merciful solace has stepped up to welcome me….

I conceptualize this as the paradox of my enlightened self being tripped up by the here-and-now view that blinded me to  the context of the past…here’s where greater balance can be found as I sort out then vs now…

As a child, the peaches my brother and I secretly snatched from a neigboring tree were the height of warm and fuzzy deliciousness…but, by the time I could afford them at will, peach pie was preferable to anything as plain as a boring old peaches….

However, given the discovery of taste-bud pleasing convenience foods, peach pie was relegated to the lowest rungs a long time ago.  This serves as a metaphor for my determined decision, all those years ago, to be the new and improved (cool, popular, highly confident) person I thought I was supposed to be.  A quest that steered me down a a painful path.  But, there’s another however…

Having had a glut of fast (and junky) food, I find the thought of simple, earthy foods increasingly appealing–this, given their absence; and the knowing that my contemporary choices are emblematic of the instant gratification that sets me so far back in terms of being healthy and strong and able to manage what life brings my way (this is true in a literal context as well).

I’m drawn to the image of me sitting in a comfy, over-sized, over-stuffed chair…feet tucked up beside me as I happily savour the oxymoronic simple-luxury of a sun warmed peach.

Anyway, I’ll consciously leave it here for now, and give my mind time to open itself to additional organic insights…as is the trend, the rest will come to me, through varied mediums throughout the day(s).

Thanks for travelling with me, friends.  My sense is, my usual type post (riddles and whimsy) will show up midweek.

God bless you and your loves 🙂

Affectionately, Truly

P.S.  “The long and the short of it” is an expression meaning “in summary”/”in a nutshell”.  The mis-stated expression (different to the one I made up for the title) provided a clue in an episode on one of my favourite British murder mysteries, Midsomer Murders (It began running in 1997 and continues to this day, but I discovered it less than ten years ago).

 

35 thoughts on “(Jan. 29/17) “Here’s The Long of the Short of It”.”

  2. Your writing is delicious and evokes so many emotions for me. I feel like I am in a similar place – I actually wrote this line: “My life now is something I could never have imagined when I was younger.”
    Using a peach as your metaphor grabbed me, too! I love peaches and that was beautiful to compare it to peach pie. I am also on a healthier path and appreciating the simplicity of real fruit now, over instant sugar gratification.
    I am sorry for your grief. You must have suffered so much to write so eloquently about your healing.
    I can tell you that I’m enjoying traveling with you!

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    1. Thank you my wonderful friend…my grief took a different form that yours, but I know that you get that pain is pain….and, that, if by the Grace of God, we are able to see that pain can have purpose (rather than being the source of something that separates us from the wonders that are in store)…we can effect change in our own lives…and the lives of others. So, given that knowing, I won’t say that my pain is nothing compared to what others have had to go through…
      I’ll simply say, thank you for your compassion and understanding. 🙂

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      1. Truly, I love what you wrote. It took a long time for me to reach that place of understanding when I was suffering. I find it to be such a beautiful thing – turning turn pain into insight and compassion. And especially to discover joy again.

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  3. Another great post… I have always loved peaches… (stay with me I am going to diverge a bit) I also love grapefruit (I can’t say “always” with grapefruits). I was offered a “grapefruit” gummy bear and it was delicious. I found myself searching out these delicious little gummy bears and disappointed that I couldn’t find them while overlooking four grapefruits that were in a bowl.

    Your post made me wonder why we search artificially flavored treats instead of the real treat that is the source of that flavor. (think about how many treats are a flavored counterfeits of something else).

    One more thought that came is in a belief I was taught while very young. I was taught that one could not know happiness unless they know sadness… You can’t understand anything unless you know its opposite. I think it is necessary to have “opposition in all things”… and that this is part of the wonderful world we live in (good/bad… health/sickness… poor/wealth… etc).

    What I had not considered until reading your post is that the degree to which we understand something is proportional to the degree we know its opposite… If I understood correctly you never knew as much grief because you didn’t have an understanding of how much happiness you could have… (Hope I understood you correctly…) What an interesting concept… does this mean those who suffer the most will experience the highest degree of joy or peace (beyond those who have not passed through the same experiences)?

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    1. I love your comment…it is proof that sharing has the power to connect us to ourselves and to each other…I love divergence……it’s comes full circle…first, yes, you completely grasped what I was saying…my next thought is, you are so much more introspective than you give yourself credit for…your comment/observations are proof of that…and, yes, I do believe that, “the highest degree of joy or peace” is compensation for pain that’s re-purposed. The concept that occurs to you is one that is often espoused…the beauty of learning is that it comes to us in unique ways…for instance, I come to understand what I understand by virtue of “teachers” I encounter on my unique path…I am so glad that our paths have intersected….you are helping me move along further than I would otherwise…thank you…please don’t ever second guess sharing with me…there is no wrong way to do that…and everything you share is a blessing :

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  4. I really enjoyed this post! Your description of the simple joy of enjoying peaches was also something that struck me. How often is it nowadays that we go searching for inferior replacements to the own simple contentment we can derive from the little things around us? Thank you for sharing, and your interesting observations 🙂

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  5. And lemme make it a point that somewhere in the other part of the world, there’s someone who is extremely proud of you. Your writing is something he is extremely fond of and you are a fountain of inspiration to many. You have such a beautiful soul that If you really wanted to, you could probably get a bird to land on your shoulder and hang out with you. 🙂

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    1. I have never heard tell of compliments such as yours…I love your unique way with words….a bird land on my shoulder and hang out with me…that is beyond kind, that sentiment is so humbling I don’t know what to say…thank you…. 🙂

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  6. My mind is blown. For a couple of reasons. First have you ever heard the expression life’s a peach? Well it sure is… peachy sweet that is. And you, you’re peachy keen. Awesome analogy. Second the day you posted this blog I was at the farmers market and I got a free peach tree. That has to count for something right?

    I have an example from my childhood. Our big family went camping a lot. And there were five kids plus my parents and staying in a hotel was just out of our price range. Little Jill was brat “when I grow up and have kids, we’re not going to camp out! We are going to stay in a hotel with a swimming pool and eat out in restaurants!”

    Billy Bob and I and the kiddos did just that. And guess what? Staying in a hotel and eating out in restaurants it’s overrated. Now how I wish I had re-created some of those camping memories for my own two.

    You see it was never about the location. I had no idea how sweet the beauty of nature was until I stayed in a room with a view of a brick wall. I had no idea how awesome it was that as a family we did things together. Until we couldn’t any longer. Now my parents are gone. And the extended family has scattered to the wind.

    My enlightened self can be content with the memory of those moments. And I acknowledge it may be revisionist history. But that’s OK. My mind is magnificent in coping and self-preservation.

    Thank you Truly! You are truly Truly scrumptious. Peach out ✌️

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    1. Just wonderful…the puns, the sharing, the observations…and, I laughed out loud when I read “peach out”….you are soooo funny and I love the way you think and piece things together…I so get it….thank you for sharing with us…it is very heartwarming and entertaining 🙂

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  9. Peaches were in the old neglectected farmhouse orchard mentioned in my memoir Of Wine, Nature and Elegies in Oak a ways back. Good times indeed and hard earned fruits always have the edge on those “We ripened ’em up for ya in this plastic tub filled with longevity gas” supermarket tubby things. I suppose that could be an analogy for bad mind places too…cut out the executive brain function and sit in the punnet with the default one that stirs things up not at all to ensure things stop as they are….sucked in a preserved in the Status Quo of blah…it lies there too…Lifes OK, everything’s fine, what you want to shake things up for, come sit with me and we can fester together.

    What one really needs is that new comfy chair with the executive brain resting think this is really the life and smiling down upon the false zombie mind….the metaphorical pulling the lid off the persevere fruit and letting real air get to the fruits. Still tastes bland, well let’s go scrump us some proper ones.

    Tough journey is the transition from old to new…can be painful too…you seem to be doing very well my friend….although underneath….I suspect there are quite a few moments yes?

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    1. I love your metaphors! And, yes…I am doing well (thank you, God) and, yes, there have been many moments that I’ve had to slog through on my way to the promised-land-on-my-feet…but, here I stand…smiling 🙂 I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you share….you are so inspiring and engaging and appreciated…thank you for being a friend 🙂

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      1. I find your posts very easy to lose author mind in and ramble inanely…which is a compliment my friend. Easy to slide into conversation with. You should follow your own work advice. Keep a mood diary for a month. Then go back over it and see if the moments are lessening as time goes by and positive thinking takes over. If the slips are trending in the wrong direction it will leap out and say “Time for a new strategy!” Mind you, you’ve managed several posts to my tumbleweed infested blog. One up to you my friend 😊

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      2. Funny thing is, being an empath–and being a mental health clinician/counselor, it becomes easy to anticipate that the month leading up to, and following Christmas are going to be challenging–given that many clients/people experience additional stressors. One of my more experienced colleagues has suggested that March is when things turn a corner….I’m really grateful to be feeling so much lighter, better…thank God for writing/blogs….I’m definitely looking forward to spending some time with your Rose this weekend 🙂 Thanks for connecting and for being so wonderful and giving 🙂

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      3. I think the build up to Christmas is hounded by media, film and advertising as the idyllic family experience. It’s hard for many to live what they see and if things are not great it acts as an amplifier. Everyone’s supposed to make all those New Year resolutions and embrace it with good health and a fresh start too…more stress and then the bills arrive! March would tie in logically for anyone suffering seasonal affective disorders too. Nights get lighter, the sun begins to draw Spring forwards and the landscape starts greening up (well, in my time zone). Lots of triggers really in mid winter. Very important not to sit overlong and overthink. As for Rose, you are about to enter a very different situation for her. I’m going to be very interested to see what you make of it! And keep those happy thoughts going. It’s not far to March now 😊

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      4. I agree with your observations tied to holiday pressures/myths..amplified versions and expectations of the unrealistic pressures that can be year-round for many. Yes, March should see things on the upswing 🙂 Also, you have me intrigued about a turn in events for Rose….something exciting to look forward to 🙂 It’s just sooooo amazing that you’ve written novels!!!!!!! Well, back to paperwork for me (it’s a storm day, so the schools are closed for the second time this week. A rare chance to focus all my attention on notes). Take care, my friend 🙂

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      5. I think you might find it, shall we say unexpected…a shame you’ve not read my main project because you’d see other parts drifting across. Although that project is still under wraps at present awaiting a major edit. Obviously Rose is stand alone having said that ! I hope you have a good weekend and I will attempt to write a post of some description 👀

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      6. It’s Sunday (late afternoon) and I see you’ve posted something new (yay!), but I’m about to catch up with Rose…I’ll give you feedback (on your novel) shortly, and will be sure to read your posting early in the week 🙂

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      7. I know, finally…it’s not a gem, but a bit of self reflection and short exposure of the new project. Take your time Truly and I hope you are staying positive…I do worry when you are quiet !

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      8. I’m about to read your post right now…and, don’t worry, my friend…quiet isn’t a bad sign…it’s just a lesson in patience (for me, I mean) as I am meant to let things flow in the direction they are meant to ….finding ways through that which I can’t ignore or speed my way through engenders creativity….down time/quiet time is a good thing in the end 🙂

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      9. It does no harm to ask though Truly…especially when quiet with me is not a good sign!! But you do have a busy life and your work must expose you to a varied mix of psyches. Downtime is very important to you methinks. Find the path first rather than dash about and miss it kind of thing. I should take time to do that too. Focussed quiet as opposed to overwhelmed quiet?

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  10. What a beautiful post – a remembrance of the joy of simple pleasures and luxuriating in their simplicity. Something we can all benefit from doing. The constant striving we are all encouraged toward for ‘Better’ can be very unhealthy in the long run. Thank you for helping me remember this simple truth today.

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  11. Kudos to the commenters!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    I love to “like” my way down the comments that a post generates, and the responses from the post’s author. Your community seems unusually engaged, and it is so encouraging to me to read the comments as well as the articles.

    Thank you to ALL of you – and especially to YOU for generating articles that inspire engagement.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

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