Hello, Wonderfuls…for what it’s worth, this is a spontaneous posting (so, it’s shorter and absent riddles).
However–a drowning out of any number of negative voices–what it lacks in length, it makes up for in weight…it’s kind of heavy.
On the other hand, I see what follows as proof that our connection is deepening; and I’m also hoping it will encourage someone else to stay the course…
It’s this sense that has me testing what I think is pretty solid footing.
If I’m wrong, I’ll have to console myself by virtue of an “Aaaakwaaaard!” context that allows for growth from a different (and unintended) angle.
And, for a moment just now, I asked myself whether this is worth sharing in the name of risk-taking/growth–given that, mercifully, you’ve always been so generous and kind.
And, having taken another moment for that second thought, I’m convinced that my instincts are correct. Yes, you are compassionate, and you “get me”….but, given that this post is not wrapped up in whimsy, cleverness, and levity, I’m giving you the most “unplugged” (bare bones) version of myself so far.
While it’s not too much of a stretch for me to hold, it’s certainly not entertaining…which will be enough to make me hold my breath for a bit before (and after) hitting “Publish”…
But, it’s nothing I can’t handle (I can’t thank you enough for that! 🙂 )
However, I can’t say the same about my (Private) Facebook account.
And, not to vilify Facebook…it has value…
It’s just that, even my one or two liners are lost on the vast majority of my subscribers…
On top of that, I have anonymity where you are concerned….whereas my Facebook friends (90 of them), are people who I know in some capacity (even if only as acquaintances).
And, not to sound harsh, but given the nature of the snap-shotted things that are shared there, other than recognition from a very small number of like-minded friends, there is no indication that I exist beyond the consistent “likes” and comments I leave for sooooo many others. Consequently, I keep a good deal of my musings to myself (until you, that is 🙂 )
Anyway, today’s FB postings–the first and second of their kind–are emblematic of calculated risk…
Among other sources, this out-of-my-comfort zone foray was inspired by author, Brene Brown,
a fantastic post by https://nostalgiadiaries.com/
(Week 3: Find Your Must),
and by 2 posters I saw on FB (my favourite thing about it)…
- “You’re going to be happy, said The Life…but first, I’m going to make you strong” (The Idealist).
2. “Don’t you dare shrink yourself for someone else’s comfort. Do not become small for people who refuse to grow”. (It didn’t say who the author was, but God bless she or he!).
FB Post 1) Context: There is going to come a time when I face harsh public scrutiny and criticism…how do I know this? Because it is an inescapable byproduct of success…and, in time, I am going to be an uber successful writer. Although this realization leaves me repelled by the thought of “putting myself out there”, I continue to do so…what follows is another of my “outings”…my own personal revolution of sorts where I dare to “show up”…
Note To Self (and those who can relate): Reading this morning’s excerpt from “Daring Greatly” (Brene Brown) has reinforced my determination not to combat push-back (however subtle or overt) with disengagement born of resignation and demoralization…To this end, I will continue to write the wrongs that would have me in tangles otherwise…and, my commitment to working through uncomfortable challenges will continue to inspire increasing numbers of those who are also (as Brene likes to frame it) “in the arena”–those of us striving for personal growth, and social change. My voice may be soft, but it is oh so stubborn, and can boom like nobody’s business!
FB Post 2) Attitude of Gratitude: Thank you to everyone (including those who will never see this) who ever recognized the ways that I am gifted and a gift…and, here’s the most important piece–I am especially thankful to those who embraced me for it, told me of it, and encouraged me to see it for myself…they believed in me and knew that, although I’ve always had a gift for seeing the best in others, that lens was not turned inward. Coming to terms with this–embarking on the embracing of myself–is the hardest thing in memory…there is internalized and externalized backlash to contend with, but my mission keeps me moving forward…those who I’ve lost, I never really had anyway…if I were ever to give up on my dreams–the stuff of magic that’s inextricably interwoven with my best self–I’d have to count myself among those numbers…I won’t…I’ve come too far…God has seen fit for me to see this defining moment…this moment of abject vulnerability when I dare to be misunderstood, judged, and found wanting. But, I know that facing this discomfort will be my triumph in the end…this is my version of a “selfie”….this is how I choose to connect…thank you… 🙂
So, here ends my post, Marvels…thank you for listening….this is me railing against the challenges that have been intensifying for the past few months–a sure sign that I am about to be launched to a new (and wonderful) plateau.
And, you, Amazer, you are such a saving grace.
God bless you and your loves 🙂