(Jan. 22/17) This Looks Different, But Is More Of The Same…

Hello, Wonderfuls…for what it’s worth, this is a spontaneous posting (so, it’s shorter and absent riddles).

However–a drowning out of any number of negative voices–what it lacks in length, it makes up for in weight…it’s kind of heavy.

On the other hand, I see what follows as proof that our connection is deepening; and I’m also hoping it will encourage someone else to stay the course…

It’s this sense that has me testing what I think is pretty solid footing.

If I’m wrong, I’ll have to console myself by virtue of an “Aaaakwaaaard!” context that allows for growth from a different (and unintended) angle.

And, for a moment just now, I asked myself whether this is worth sharing in the name of risk-taking/growth–given that, mercifully, you’ve always been so generous and kind.

And, having taken another moment for that second thought, I’m convinced that my instincts are correct.  Yes, you are compassionate, and you “get me”….but, given that this post is not wrapped up in whimsy, cleverness, and levity, I’m giving you the most “unplugged” (bare bones) version of myself so far.

While it’s not too much of a stretch for me to hold, it’s certainly not entertaining…which will be enough to make me hold my breath for a bit before (and after) hitting “Publish”…

But, it’s nothing I can’t handle (I can’t thank you enough for that! 🙂 )

However, I can’t say the same about my (Private) Facebook account.

And, not to vilify Facebook…it has value…

It’s just that, even my one or two liners are lost on the vast majority of my subscribers…

On top of that, I have anonymity where you are concerned….whereas my Facebook friends (90 of them), are people who I know in some capacity (even if only as acquaintances).

And, not to sound harsh, but given the nature of the snap-shotted things that are shared there, other than recognition from a very small number of like-minded friends, there is no indication that I exist beyond the consistent “likes” and comments I leave for sooooo many others.  Consequently, I keep a good deal of my musings to myself (until you, that is 🙂 )

Anyway, today’s FB postings–the first and second of their kind–are emblematic of calculated risk…

Among other sources, this out-of-my-comfort zone foray was inspired by author, Brene Brown,

a fantastic post by https://nostalgiadiaries.com/

(Week 3: Find Your Must),

and by 2 posters I saw on FB (my favourite thing about it)…

  1. “You’re going to be happy, said The Life…but first, I’m going to make you strong” (The Idealist).

2. “Don’t you dare shrink yourself for someone else’s comfort.  Do not become small for             people who refuse to grow”. (It didn’t say who the author was, but God bless she or               he!).

FB Post 1) Context: There is going to come a time when I face harsh public scrutiny and criticism…how do I know this? Because it is an inescapable byproduct of success…and, in time, I am going to be an uber successful writer. Although this realization leaves me repelled by the thought of “putting myself out there”, I continue to do so…what follows is another of my “outings”…my own personal revolution of sorts where I dare to “show up”…

Note To Self (and those who can relate): Reading this morning’s excerpt from “Daring Greatly” (Brene Brown) has reinforced my determination not to combat push-back (however subtle or overt) with disengagement born of resignation and demoralization…To this end, I will continue to write the wrongs that would have me in tangles otherwise…and, my commitment to working through uncomfortable challenges will continue to inspire increasing numbers of those who are also (as Brene likes to frame it) “in the arena”–those of us striving for personal growth, and social change. My voice may be soft, but it is oh so stubborn, and can boom like nobody’s business!

FB Post 2) Attitude of Gratitude: Thank you to everyone (including those who will never see this) who ever recognized the ways that I am gifted and a gift…and, here’s the most important piece–I am especially thankful to those who embraced me for it, told me of it, and encouraged me to see it for myself…they believed in me and knew that, although I’ve always had a gift for seeing the best in others, that lens was not turned inward. Coming to terms with this–embarking on the embracing of myself–is the hardest thing in memory…there is internalized and externalized backlash to contend with, but my mission keeps me moving forward…those who I’ve lost, I never really had anyway…if I were ever to give up on my dreams–the stuff of magic that’s inextricably interwoven with my best self–I’d have to count myself among those numbers…I won’t…I’ve come too far…God has seen fit for me to see this defining moment…this moment of abject vulnerability when I dare to be misunderstood, judged, and found wanting. But, I know that facing this discomfort will be my triumph in the end…this is my version of a “selfie”….this is how I choose to connect…thank you… 🙂

So, here ends my post, Marvels…thank you for listening….this is me railing against the challenges that have been intensifying for the past few months–a sure sign that I am about to be launched to a new (and wonderful) plateau.

And, you, Amazer, you are such a saving  grace.

God bless you and your loves 🙂

Affectionately, Truly

 

 

28 thoughts on “(Jan. 22/17) This Looks Different, But Is More Of The Same…”

  1. Wow, I’m blown away – your words seem to have been plucked from my own tangled thoughts about moving forward and owning my craft! I’ve been hesitating about creating another platform to promote my work and reading this post might make me braver! Thank you for following your intuition and publishing away…follow your heart (always!).

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    1. Oh, my friend….my loyal and caring friend…thank you for letting me know that I am understood and that I have encouraged you in some small way. For all my tough talk, you’ve brought me to tears….I can’t pretend I’m not relieved 🙂 I don’t know why this is all so hard….I think it’s because I’ve been bombarded with so much resistance of late…it’s enough to hold space for my clients, that I can do….what brings me to the point where it’s Do Or Dry (up) is negativity from people who I really care about…I just can’t pretend anymore…it’s harder and harder to engage with people on a superficial level when I want nothing more than heart-to-heart connection. Not that I expect to have these, exclusively, but, if I am to call people my friends, we have to have a meeting of the minds where our worldviews are concerned…anyway, sorry for spilling that out…and, for what it’s worth, you have all the makings of a gifted writer…you have the “it” factor, and you are a game changer…your every dream will come true….and, that, my friend, will blow you away like nothing else 🙂 I, too, need to explore the next step in moving toward my professional, full-time writing dream…thank you for your support 🙂

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  2. Not gonna comment long since you are prone to tears 😛
    You very well know of how highly I think of you. You are that willing soul who will keenly go the length, breadth and depth to fulfill your dream. So why settle for a lesser vision? When you are destiny for greatness 🙂

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  3. Well said! I too worked with people for many years and it does open our hearts but it also seems to be an effective distraction from looking at ourselves. We keep our emotions in line to be strong for them and meanwhile we are crumbling inside. I chose to take time out for my ‘personal development’ … for me it’s been most beneficial and certainly ignited my creativity but its also meant the loss of my professional career. So there are some great gains to be had but be prepared for some losses also.
    Follow your dreams, indulge your passions and life does become more meaningful in a very different way.

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    1. You are so kind…I love that you shared this…thank you. You hit the nail on the head. Rather than distracting me from personal growth, however, it means waking up in the wee hours and cramming as much introspection and healing as I can into the weekends…certainly not ideal. I’m so encouraged by your words…where there’s a will, there’s a way…I’m happy for you 🙂

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      2. It’s all a mystery to me at this point…and I don’t see leaving my day job (social work/mental health clinician) any time soon…but, I’ll be sure to share anything I discover…P.S. Your attitude is inspiring 🙂

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      5. And me so I will watch with great interest where you go to from here. Any chance of dropping back to part time? That would be the ideal to pay the bills and allow time to process it all.

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      6. I’m not at the point where I’m ready for a move like that…my first step is to limit contact in the office….several of us share one big room, and we end up regaling each other with our stresses and strains in what can be a running commentary of frustration, sadness, disbelief at the red tape and socio-economic disparities that fuel mental health issues. So, while it is great to always have someone to consult with/share with….we share too much of what is negative and draining…and, in trying support each other, we are doing double, triple duty….also, a couple of my colleagues went down to part time and end up trying to do more work in less time…which is extremely stressful. I am just going to try and make a point of typing up my notes while at the schools I visit (that’s where we see our clients/the students). But, thanks for taking the time to make suggestions…I think that I will continue what I’m doing, with an eye to leaving altogether in a few years when I’ve found a way to transition to full-time writer. How about you…do you want to share what your strategy is? Not to pry…share if you’d like/if it will help 🙂

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      7. Bit busy just now and not on line. When I find the time I will get your email and share that way. Have found many ask but don’t really want to listen, their eyes glaze over.

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  4. Well, you said it would explain more after my equity upon posts on the medium in which I am proud to be amongst your collective of friends. I see much in here that belongs on that map you shared to my timeline! This point is possibky the hardest in any life transition. Where memories of what was and what is merge, the future seems scary and all things author seem so far away. I know there’s more to it than that, but you know I’m empathic there and will continue to support you here, or there and listen if you need to vent. Very good post my friend…raw and as it is.

    Might I suggest, and this might be up your street, you consider joining me on the Kindness Challenge in May? It explores inner mind workings and life outlook, mindfulness and personal well being. I feel you have a wealth of work and personal experience that might not only help others, but also give you an opportunity to reflect and see life changes as healthy and positive. I know several of your blogging friends are already signed up too….just a thought….no pressure

    And keep smiling Truly, moods dip and you know that I know when it does….yes 🌹

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    1. Heartfelt and sensitive as ever…yes, you are true blue and an exception to social media superficiality…our connection is a solid blessing…and yes, dips happen, and I believe there’s value in sharing that 🙂 I feel better already but will focus on sustained peace of mind…and I know that challenges are meant to steer me toward much greater things. As for the kindness challenge, I’ll give it serious thought…thank you for your unfailing thoughtfulness, my friend 🙂

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      1. It’s that empathy thing. When you’ve faced the dark hole in the mind, it never truly goes away. It does, however, assist in seeing through facades that hide sadness or issues that give rise to daily struggles. Knowing what it’s like means you are well aware that you don’t wish it on anyone else. Yes give it a thought too. It’s a huge self challenge amongst a great many people facing the same issues. I don’t know if you know Niki Lopez or not, but it arose from her own journey from a bad place. Her blog is now very inspiring. Also, go look at my reblog of it…in the comments section…I will wager you know a few that have signed up already. Some might surprise you too. I guarantee they would love to see your words and thoughts, if only on what they post….no pressure obviously, but if you read between the lines, I’ve just said you are very much appreciated by a great many people…that alone is a positive vibe yes?

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  5. Truly! First and foremost, thank you for trusting us and sharing your voice here! You have no idea how much you and your writings mean and inspire most of us! I am more than thankful to have known you to an extent that we are connected personally through other means of social media as well. As you mentioned criticism and discouragement are byproducts of being successful. It is a sure sign, you are and you will be doing something right and great! Let’s consider all the lows as an opportunity to realize what is important and what isn’t. This can only motivate and drive us farther and better. Ignoring anything and everything that doesn’t make us feel good, is a great quick fix! No matter what, you and your work will always be appreciated. :):)

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  6. Truly your writings are always so interesting… I have been so busy that I am just getting around to reading your latest posts. I always like to make sure I have extra time… and while you preface this with “short and absence of riddles”…

    I am left with so many questions… ones that I don’t need to ask… but will ponder on.

    Wow…this post seems to speak with such depth. I have read this several times and read the beautiful comments others have left. I hesitate to make any comment since everyone here is swimming at the deep end of the pool and I am in the shallow part with water wings still on. I made a goal several years back to be more introspective and in reading this I realize that I am as shallow as ever (just something I need to work on… not trying to be self deprecating).

    I love your words and the thoughts that you and the others have shared. I tend to be a happy go luck guy and while it works for me… I need some inner struggles to truly become a thinker. Thank you for sharing and making me think.

    I love your FB 1 post… very eloquent… and I think you are already an “uber” successful writer… unless that means you write this while driving an uber cab… and that is just silly/dangerous

    Both posts made me realize my facebook posts are really silly… I think the last one I left stated that I couldn’t sleep because I had jetlag.

    one last thing… who are all these amazing people commenting on your blog. I would love to have them all over for dinner and just listen to them… just “wonderful” people

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    1. Right off the hop, rest assured that your FB post is completely the kind of post I enjoy…like I said, FB has value…and, here’s my FB post from last night: I’m so obnoxiously in love with how warm, cozy, and comfortable my bed is…time for Netflix and an early night…today has been so productive but really tiring. I’m wishing each of you a measure of comfort, security, and peace sufficient to ensure that you have a good night’s rest.
      I hope that makes you feel better about yours 🙂 Secondly, you have no idea how much I admire and respect you. What I do in my head, you do externally….you are experiential, whereas I am introspective…you live out loud through adventures and feeding your curiosity….you are a hands-on person who is into what’s tangible. I am a homebody, introverted type who loves the abstract…curious in a different kind of way….but, despite that seeming difference, our hearts are very much alike (in terms of capacity to see good and to be kind and caring). And, not to weird you out, but I have such a soft spot for you…you are very endearing and funny and fascinating and you are much deeper than you seem to think you are…you embrace life in a way that I find extraordinary….and, it makes perfect sense that you are included in the wonderful group of people who have become my friends….and, you are right–each one of the people who’ve commented are so special and especially so…so, it makes sense that you would be the one to host a dinner because that is just the kind of thing you would do….I am so blessed and so lucky to call each one of you my friends…thank you for being my friend 🙂

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  8. “There is going to come a time when I face harsh public scrutiny and criticism…how do I know this? Because it is an inescapable byproduct of success…and, in time, I am going to be an uber successful writer.”

    Hmm. This leaves me very conflicted. Because if harsh scrutiny and criticism follow inevitably from one’s becoming a success, specifically, a successful writer, then alas, I am clearly obliged to say something critical at this point, because:

    1) you are The Truly, and you are, um, truly a success at being Truly

    2) you consistently charm and enchant and, OK, sometimes bamboozle us, your adoring and faithful followers, ergo you are clearly a success as a writer of word-thingies

    No, no, I can’t do it, I can’t be critical, it’s wrong, wrong, wrong!! I can only praise you for being your sweet self and stringing many, many word-thingies and phrase-thingies and clause-thingies together to create wholly unique and delightful post-thingies.

    Onward, dear Truly, and stay positive, as my friend Mr. Proton likes to say… : )

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    1. Oh, my gosh!!!! To quote The Wicked Witch of the West, “I’m melting, I’m melting…”. Thank you for blessing me with your abject kindness and accolades…you are such blessing, you’ve made me smile, and you’ve brightened my day so much!!!! Wishing you a wonderful Sunday, and a better day every day afterwards 🙂

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