(Nov 27/16) “I Will Sur-thrive…”

Initial Context: The manipu-hater smiles and sweetly remarks…”Now that I’ve overwhelmingly stacked most everything in my favour, let’s have a relationship.” 🙂

Subsequent Context: A couple weeks ago, when feeling frustrated and offended by those who make being kind such a challenge, I was struck by  the memory of Lloyd Christmas frantically wrestling/urging an ulcer-riddled henchman to stop resisting his efforts to save his life…

Oops…

For those unfamiliar with one of my favourite movies–1994’s “Dumb and Dumber”, I’ve already lost you…and, if you’re not a fan of the movie, this calculated risk might prove to be my un-who-ing …rendering me persona-non-matta…

However, Royal Loyals, you’ve always shown a generous willingness to follow my lead—character that I am —given that my messages are always well-intentioned…

So, I’ll back my point up…

There’s a scene in this slapstick comedy, where, having (playfully) laced the acerbic villain’s burger with fiery-hot peppers,

–thus, triggering an aghast-ro-intenstinal attack…

Simple Minded Lloyd attempts to strong-arm the (Alive and Kicking) villain into taking mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation lying down.

Despite my sour mood, I suddenly smiled inside–given the parallel between Lloyd’s ludicrous efforts and mine…

After all, on countless occasions, I’ve tried to the breathe the “breath of life” (of the party) into relationships with those who emphatically rebuff my invitations to play nice.

And, I’m coming to accept that, although for many, kindness comes as easy as breathing…

there are those who are afflicted by bronch-kindness…

Grudgingly, they exercise generosity of spirit, until (shortly-thereafter) it feels restrictive–and, winded, they revert to type…

And, there are those who see themselves as so self-sufficient that they become ask-matic—refusing to ask for and/or accept benevolent overtures..

Often, cynical and mistrustful, both types are short of breadth–and, this results in constricted share-ways.

On the other hand, given that everyone has the right to choose how/who to connect with, these people should not be judged…we’ve each been wounded in some way, and respond according to what feels safe.

However, I need to protect myself from myself when I befriend people who have no genuine desire to reciprocate…

Now, Wonderfuls, there have always been well-meaning people who’ve tried to help me see the light…

but, the problem is, all-too-often, they’d say things like, “Others don’t have the kind of heart you do, so you’ll have to grow a thicker skin…”

My (enlightened) response is, “I don’t want’a hide…I want to seek!

And, to that end, unlike Lloyd who–

to the detriment of he and Joe “Mental” Mentalino–

played with his food–

I look for ways to (word) play with my feud.

(*Read “feud”as internal beef between me, myself, and I.*)

Which brings me to my initial point about (seemingly) personable manipulators who expect me to surrender my needs in order to meet theirs…and, my willingness (up until now) to be complicit in repeating pointless shenan-agains.

Respectfully, I’m sick of being a “Queasy Lover”, friends…and, if “Love Is A Battle Field“, I’ve had my Phil of (Beetle) Bailey types who’ve enlisted  with no intention of fighting the good fight.

As such, I’m upsizing from people pleaser to person pleaser…

Ever complex, I’m, simultaneously, a couch potato and a marathoner who’s training to become tone deaf…

For, as one who’s long-been a dog-eared-open-book…

and who, to my own detriment, misunderstood the language of connection…

I heard and responded only to the (sales) pitch.

I was deaf (whether unwittingly or deliberately) to the understanding that, no matter how pleasant the tone…

I was being told, in any number of ways, that I was not valued…

just as surely as if the messages were communicated in demeaning, condescending, dismissive, yowling howlings.

Another metaphor that occurred to me shortly thereafter:

No matter how often manipulators visit you in the shadows…

you are still a secret–buried treasure…

denied I-O-U credit for being worthy of seeing–-and being-–the light of day…

Instead, relegated to the fringes of deception–where connection is the stuff of utility…

..not healthy interconnectedness and growth…

not betterment and reciprocity…

To take it in another direction, here’s further over-explanation…

(If you read my last post, (Nov. 20/16) “Thank You For Being A Fred”, you know I like to take the (football) ball and run)

Are you familiar with the fable of the “Scorpion and the Frog”?

If not, here’s the nutshell version…

With the promise that he would not sting the frog–thereby causing them both to drown–the scorpion convinced the kind frog to let the scorpion ride his back and transport him across the river…

But, halfway across, the scorpion stung the mystified frog…then, rationalized (to paraphrase), “What I am is what I am…”

And, if you can relate to anything I’ve shared, Terrifics, take heart…

Let’s focus on moving up-words!

The irony of the scorpion phenomenon is this:

Manipulators tap into a sensitivity that allows them to intuit,

or know consciously,

that it breaks kind people’s hearts to realize that someone they care about isn’t in a position to join them in the quest for greatness…

leaving sensitive souls to mourn for wasted connection and giftedness-not-to-be-realized…

a light needlessly dimmed…

And, this realization can leave us feeling so lonely, outnumbered….tempted to give up when it seems there is something about us that has this pattern playing out over and over…

But, unlike the scornyin’s who–believing leopards can’t change their spots–cut off their noses to spite their fates–we do not surrender to surrender…

Haters will come to find that they’ve miscalculated…

It only hurts because we believed in them–and did our best to hold onto the dream…

However, as long as we become increasingly better at letting let go–while holding on to hope that…

when they are ready…

someone else (if not us) will be there to encourage them–

we will each find antidotes…

and, (if you’re like me),

anecdotes for what ails us.

Thank you for sticking it out with me, Amazers…you are so appreciated!

God Bless You, friends….see you next week 🙂

P.S.  Here’s my fantasy retort to any manipu-hator who tries to take me for a ride…

“I’ve been stung, over and over…and, miraculously, have faith that “I Will Sur-thrive”…for, as long as I’ve got Eagle’s peepers, “…you can’t hide scor-pian eyes, and your smile’s a thin disguise…” 🙂

P.P.S. Manip-uhater (manipulator) quote is mine; un-who-ing is an undoing pun and persona-non-matta is a persona non grata (“person not appreciated”) pun; acerbic can mean acidic temper, a pun given that “Dumb and Dumber” villain has ulcers; aghast-ro-intestinal pun: aghast means horrified–such is the villain when he realizes his murder plot has backfired…mistaking the rat poison in Joe’s pocket for ulcer medication, Lloyd feeds it to Joe “Mental” Mentalino; ulcers are one of many gastrointestinal conditions ;  British band, Simple Minds, had a (1985) hit song, “Alive and Kicking”; breath of life is a mouth-to-mouth/First Aid pun; play nice is akin to “play fair”;  bronchitis and asthmatic respiratory conditions that make breathing challenging; hide and seek is a children’s game, making “thicker skin/hide” (as in skin) reference a pun; shenanigans can be defined as devious tricks; Queasy Lover/ Phil of Beetle Bailey, is a nod to (1984) duet, Easy Lover, by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey, and Beetle Bailey is ongoing comic strip (began in 1950), featuring a lazy soldier who avoids active duty, and queasy means feeling ill/naseated; Love Is A Battlefield, Pat Benetar (1983) hit; dogs can be tricked into responding to tone, rather than words (using an affectionate tone, tell one that they are obnoxiously-horrible (include “yes you are” for added effect 🙂 ); dog-eared pages are found in books where the reader has folded down the last page of the book they’ve read–a rudimentary bookmark; (sales) pitch–pitch is also another word for tone; “What I Am” (“is what I am…”) is a (1988) Edie Brickell & New Bohemians hit, and a nod to one of my favourite bloggers/Edie fans–and, a friend whose encouragement inspired me to post on time…

https://weirdweekendsblog.wordpress.com/

moving up-words is a moving upward pun; cutting off  their noses to spite their fate is a “cutting of your nose to spite your face” pun; “I Will Survive” is an awesome (1978) disco song sung by Gloria Gaynor–an iconic hit to this day…however, why survive when you can thrive! :); Eagle’s peepers/scor-pean eyes is a nod to the band, The Eagles, who had an ongoing (1975) hit, (You Can’t Hide Your) “Lyin’ Eyes” (“and your smile’s a thin disguise, I thought by now, you’d realize, baby you can’t hide your lying  eyes”).

 

 

.

 

30 thoughts on “(Nov 27/16) “I Will Sur-thrive…””

    1. I appreciate your comment so very much…what an honour….I am so glad to know that you can relate, and that you found it inspiring….that means so much….your kindness is a blessing, and I am so glad we’ve connected. By the way, I just read your latest post and was blown away…I’ve commented on your blog site. Take care 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. You are welcome.❤ I love the way you write. I admire your writing and all that you convey in your unique style. I think you are very perceptive and I marvel at your sensitive portrayal of the world we live in.
        I am deeply honoured that you appreciate my work. Truly, thank you!😙

        Like

  2. Wow… what a great post. I am saying that not because you mentioned my blog (although that is really sweet)… but because of the honesty and the incredibly interesting style you have when you write (I am so jealous of how well you express ideas and with such an uniquely creative way). I am not sure that I have felt exactly the same as your writings but I have often been made to feel like a “coat “… only worn when needed and taken off and put away as soon as possible (when things are comfortable). Did you know coats are often jealous of jewelry… jewelry really serves no purpose… they are worn just because… just because they are loved. Every coat would prefer to be jewelry… but coats must remember they are important.

    Better stop “before I get too deep”…

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much! Wow, I just never know when a post is going to resonate…I really appreciate the feedback. And, can I just say that I love, love, love your “coat/jewlery” metaphor…your writing reminds me of mine, lately…you express yourself in metaphors that I find utterly charming (not saying that I am/write in a charming way 🙂 ). You are much appreciated and admired….thanks for the support 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Thank you so much….you are just so sweet and encouraging…and, I’m working on a novel….however, I was stuck for inspiration and have (just this morning) figured out which direction to go next, so I’m quite excited at the prospect of adding some important layers to the opening section of the book. Your suggestion delighted me so much because it was a sign that the time has come for me to get back to work on it. So, I owe you an extra huge thank you–you’ve inspired me 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  4. Testing, testing, testing! A shame my previous comment went….somewhere when you were replying…but in keeping with the first three words, I will keep this short and stay on topic with testing we are still connected !

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. Excellent, but still very strange. I’m glad you enjoyed the invisible one though. Mind you, even this weird where is it exercise has had its own humour value…so not wasted after all in a glass half full type of way 🤔

        Liked by 1 person

  5. ‘My (enlightened) response is, “I don’t want’a hide…I want to seek!’ I enjoyed that response. If someone develops a “thicker skin” maybe that means they have stopped caring about how people treated them.

    As I have read your last two posts, the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5, kept running through my head. Blessed are the…merciful, they will be shown mercy, the pure in heart, they will see God, the peacemakers for they will be called children of God…

    People can only take so much and in a world full of givers, takers, and manipulators, it is nice to know that at the end of a peaceful, loving/giving heart, it is encouraging to know there is a God who is waiting to refuel/recharge that kind heart with something extraordinary.

    Sorry, didn’t mean to get preachy… it just kind of came out. Anyway, great post! Thanks for sharing.

    I’ll be looking forward to the time when I have time to read that novel you’re working on.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Such a generous comment….thank you so very much….and far from “preachy”, it is a blessing….God always knows when to send the right people, at the right time, to give me just the right encouragement…you are such a kind, kind person. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    1. Oh, thank you so much for letting me know you enjoyed my post….it feels great 🙂 I’m on a rare lunch break and just had to let you know you are appreciated; and I will “visit” your site (and read and comment) when I get home from work (approximately 5:30 pm). Thanks again 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  7. Wow, your posts always take me on a journey or two – sometimes in flashes of drinking Tang in child-size glasses while watching Saturday morning cartoons at my grandparents home (they have since passed away) or in snatches of beloved songs from days long past – this post resonated, I was recently wounded by someone I trusted and the thought that moves through my mind is, they just don’t get me even after all these years… moving forward, I’ve decided to stop handing them the ammunition that sometimes finds it’s way back to me, so far, so good! Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I love that you find my posts evocative….how touching that you were reminded of childhood, and beloved grandparents…that really moved me! And, I ‘m happy to think you feel better–knowing you are not alone in your struggle to rise above hurts unfairly inflicted….thank you for honoring me with this glimpse of you story 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. I’ve been wanting to do your incredible posts justice as you do mine, I’m often left with a whirl of thoughts after reading your words and I’m glad to have finally nailed down some for you! Whew!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, my gosh!!!! I can’t begin to tell you how much I look forward to your comments…I know we writers write, first, for ourselves…but, the moment I post, I am like the new kid in school hoping that someone will think I’m cool and will want to play with me. I find it so humbling that you think you need to offer me words comparable to the comments I give you….just knowing you appreciate what, and how, I write is the best feeling….thank you for taking the time to sit with the feelings you have, and then letting me know what you think….there is no pressure, you could never say the wrong thing…it is such a blessing to know that you like what I share…thank you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, you’ve confirmed it…you get me…and, I love your wordplay…very clever, indeed….I’m in the middle of writing my next post, but–given your enthusiasm and efforts, I will be right over to your blog to read/comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment