Oct. 10/10) “I’m Too Lazy For My Shirk, Too Lazy For My Shirk…So Lazy It Hurts”

Hello (culinary) Delights…

I love that you’re here;

and, you’re just in time for another Digression Concession:

The fact is this…

I’m no cook.

Not as in, “I can’t cook”…

I actually don’t cook…I haven’t in a few years.

Now, I imagine something akin to “inconceivable” just sprung to mind…and (if you are charitable), your next thought might be, “Does Truly have a maid and/or housekeeper?”

Nope…and, I wish! 🙂

Well, on second thought, given his quick wit, Alex would…

(*while gesturing with his perpetually oven-mittened hands*)

beg to differ.

And, he’d do so in all manner of droll ways that’d have me dishing out (full) belly laughs…

ladling him…


labelling him the funniest person in the world…

and (dinner) rolling in the I’ll-s…

As in, “I’ll get you for this if you….if you…if you don’t stop making me laugh so hard!!!”

God love him, he really is the most hilarious person in my life–but, sometimes he doesn’t know when to quit.

(Except when it comes to housework…that, he never starts…so things balance out nicely).

Any old (Yoo)-Hoo,

(*Shout-out to a taste sensation.*)

Alex shares his mother’s love of feeding others–and, given his eagerness in this regard, I’ve long-since discovered that procrastination has its perks 🙂

So, at the risk of being judged for being “…too lazy for my shirk, so lazy it hurts“–I bring up the cooking…

Wait, poor choice of words…I’m not saying the thought of cooking makes me want to upchuck…

What I mean to say is, when it comes to writing my usual kind of posts, the process often feels like that of a cook who, having picked at the food as they prepared it, no longer has the stomach for it by the time it’s done…

The difference is, given protracted attempts to get to the point–I’m already full of myself by the time I’m half-baked…

Well, not “full of myself” as in, “Oh, you’ve really done it this time, you literary genius you…”

but, conversely, not “half-baked” as in, not-well-thaw-t-out

Which is to say, I meant for the preceding (cheese(y)) nibbles to be (one-a-penny-two-a-penny) hot-crossed-puns

My two cents’ worth, if you will–offered in humble servants…


service of whetting your appetite…

After all, I may not think I’m the best thing since sliced bread

(*”Mmm, oven-fresh, butter-melting sliced bread”…says the image of Homer Simpson that just Pop(pin’ fresh)ed into my consciousness*)

but, on balance (given that turnabout is fare-play) I can’t help but appreciate my iconic way of dotting my (Aye, yie-yie-) yies and crossing my teas 

So, (“Back To The Future”) point…

In anticipation of writing a post, I jot down enough provocative thoughts to stir my inner (crock pot) inventor .

(*Good one, Truly…you’re such a S-Marty-Y pants 🙂 *)

And, here’s where “I’m Bringing Sexy Back”…if, by any stretch of the imagination, procrastination is a sexy trait…which I know it’s not…

…but, neither were the guys in Right Said Fred, so…

(*No offence, boys*)

Anyway, like I said, turnabout is fair-play….

And, having come full-circle, I’ll finish what I started when I began explaining why my weak/week intentions make for a, consistently-inconsistent, post-deadline.


Well aware of how much time I’d spend over (-and-under) thinking, I decided that–much like concealing all the “good for you“ingredients within a puffed-pastry piece–I’d catch myself off guard by ushering a brunch invite…

then, surprise myself by making something out of nothing…topped with lots of cheese, just the way I like it.

(*Hey, Trules…Something tells me this was probably the process for cooking up the actual last thing we did make…but, if memory serves, Alex peeled the potatoes…so don’t tell the Wonderfuls that.  Not realizing you’re highly-disciplined and giving in other ways, they just might make a–bit-into-a-pickled-beet–face… 🙂 *)

Anyway, it worked…here’s a, perfectly-proportioned, shepherd’s-pie-of-a-post that (relatively-speaking) took no time at all!

I hope it’s to your like-ing…and, as always….

God bless you, my friends 🙂

P.S. Right Said Fred” had 1991 hit “I’m Too Sexy” (for my Shirt, so sexy it hurts…”)–making “I’m too lazy for my shirk…” a double wordplay…1. nod to band/2. even too lazy to shirk (sidestep) my responsibilities; “concession” is and admission, and a place to get food–as in concession stand;  given the context, “imagine” and “inconceivable” comprise an ironic twist; Yoo-Hoo is a chocolate drink, and a summons/greeting–which makes “shout-out” to “Any old Yoo-Hoo” a pun; hot-cross buns are sweet rolls, and “one-a-penny, two-a-penny hot-cross buns” is a nursery rhyme; “whet” means to stimulate (as in appetite) and means “to sharpen”, as in a (bread) knife; Poppin’ Fresh is the name of the Pillsbury Dough Boy; balance is tied to fair, which is tied to fare (meaning, food); “Aye, yie, yie, yie” is the opening line of commercial jingle for Frito Lays corn chips–pun is tied to “dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s (covering all your bases); crock (crack)-pot inventor and S-Marty-Pants refer to the lead characters from movie, “Back To The Future”, which ties in to anticipating future posts and constructing them back to front.

P.P.S. “I’m bringing sexy back” is a Justin Timberlake lyric; and an inside joke for a funny and cherished friend at work 🙂


16 thoughts on “Oct. 10/10) “I’m Too Lazy For My Shirk, Too Lazy For My Shirk…So Lazy It Hurts”

  1. I am left shaking my head in the usual chuckling way interspersed with culinary disbelief that one has not cooked in years? Metaphors, as you rightly advocate, suggest this not to be truly true. Words are the ingredients of a tale and the mind that wanders the blank page is the stewpot. Too cold and things remain slow and empty, too hot and it all burns and looks blah…just right and out comes Wayland…oh, that’s me isn’t it? Ingredients exist in many forms, art, carpentry, mathematics….which makes everybody a metaphoric master chef.

    Actually, this post reminds me it be time to plant my garlic and wide beans before festive season bites (on topic) us with reminders that Spring is a few months off. I must remedy this dereliction of ingredient growing horticulture post haste…along with raising the un-raised bed that a previous threads power tool eked out the relevant shape in which to instal it.

    Cooking, you see….grow the ingredients, till the land, shape the soil…carpentry in the bed, masonry in the cutting of stone…all part of creating the stuff that drops into a pot…I no longer know where cooking begins because my own ramble has unravelled sane thought and thrown it all inside one big melting pot with a knob of butter sizzling in the bottom.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I think having a friend that can generate prompts for another writer to create with is an awesome thing for keeping the mojo to create keep in the zone. Seems you have the power to do that with your posts Truly. If it gave you a chuckle then next time the grim hits invite me in with another post 😁


  2. I’m not bright enough to speak your language, but have (truly as in unplugged) enjoyed the learning experience of deciphering the messages. If I tried to write like you I would have to substantially increase my calorie intake to prevent my brain would self imploding! Tis a gift you have young lady and one I look forward to admiring for many a year. A post has not gone by without causing greater depth and length to my crows feet. I welcome these changes! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comments always boost my confidence…thank you so very much 🙂 And, I really enjoy your word play, it makes me smile. And, knowing that my writing brings joy is the best feeling: it’s my way of giving in a way that is different from my spoken word…I’m grateful it translates. Thank you, Dr. Jonathan…you are such a blessing!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the kind comment…you made y day…and, thank you for the nomination…can you please remind me of the rules…or direct me to them. I will definitely honour the nomination…thank you for thinking of me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey…. I nominated you for the three day Three quote challenge so please do take part.
    I actually happen to love cooking……though…..🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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