Hello (culinary) Delights…

I love that you’re here;

and, you’re just in time for another Digression Concession:

The fact is this…

I’m no cook.

Not as in, “I can’t cook”…

I actually don’t cook…I haven’t in a few years.

Now, I imagine something akin to “inconceivable” just sprung to mind…and (if you are charitable), your next thought might be, “Does Truly have a maid and/or housekeeper?”

Nope…and, I wish! 🙂

Well, on second thought, given his quick wit, Alex would…

(*while gesturing with his perpetually oven-mittened hands*)

beg to differ.

And, he’d do so in all manner of droll ways that’d have me dishing out (full) belly laughs…

ladling him…

oops…

labelling him the funniest person in the world…

and (dinner) rolling in the I’ll-s…

As in, “I’ll get you for this if you….if you…if you don’t stop making me laugh so hard!!!”

God love him, he really is the most hilarious person in my life–but, sometimes he doesn’t know when to quit.

(Except when it comes to housework…that, he never starts…so things balance out nicely).

Any old (Yoo)-Hoo,

(*Shout-out to a taste sensation.*)

Alex shares his mother’s love of feeding others–and, given his eagerness in this regard, I’ve long-since discovered that procrastination has its perks 🙂

So, at the risk of being judged for being “…too lazy for my shirk, so lazy it hurts“–I bring up the cooking…

Wait, poor choice of words…I’m not saying the thought of cooking makes me want to upchuck…

What I mean to say is, when it comes to writing my usual kind of posts, the process often feels like that of a cook who, having picked at the food as they prepared it, no longer has the stomach for it by the time it’s done…

The difference is, given protracted attempts to get to the point–I’m already full of myself by the time I’m half-baked…

Well, not “full of myself” as in, “Oh, you’ve really done it this time, you literary genius you…”

but, conversely, not “half-baked” as in, not-well-thaw-t-out…

Which is to say, I meant for the preceding (cheese(y)) nibbles to be (one-a-penny-two-a-penny) hot-crossed-puns…

My two cents’ worth, if you will–offered in humble servants…

(*ahem*)…

service of whetting your appetite…

After all, I may not think I’m the best thing since sliced bread…

(*”Mmm, oven-fresh, butter-melting sliced bread”…says the image of Homer Simpson that just Pop(pin’ fresh)ed into my consciousness*)

but, on balance (given that turnabout is fare-play) I can’t help but appreciate my iconic way of dotting my (Aye, yie-yie-) yies and crossing my teas …

So, (“Back To The Future”) point…

In anticipation of writing a post, I jot down enough provocative thoughts to stir my inner (crock pot) inventor .

(*Good one, Truly…you’re such a S-Marty-Y pants 🙂 *)

And, here’s where “I’m Bringing Sexy Back”…if, by any stretch of the imagination, procrastination is a sexy trait…which I know it’s not…

…but, neither were the guys in Right Said Fred, so…

(*No offence, boys*)

Anyway, like I said, turnabout is fair-play….

And, having come full-circle, I’ll finish what I started when I began explaining why my weak/week intentions make for a, consistently-inconsistent, post-deadline.

Summary:

Well aware of how much time I’d spend over (-and-under) thinking, I decided that–much like concealing all the “good for you“ingredients within a puffed-pastry piece–I’d catch myself off guard by ushering a brunch invite…

then, surprise myself by making something out of nothing…topped with lots of cheese, just the way I like it.

(*Hey, Trules…Something tells me this was probably the process for cooking up the actual last thing we did make…but, if memory serves, Alex peeled the potatoes…so don’t tell the Wonderfuls that.  Not realizing you’re highly-disciplined and giving in other ways, they just might make a–bit-into-a-pickled-beet–face… 🙂 *)

Anyway, it worked…here’s a, perfectly-proportioned, shepherd’s-pie-of-a-post that (relatively-speaking) took no time at all!

I hope it’s to your like-ing…and, as always….

God bless you, my friends 🙂

P.S. Right Said Fred” had 1991 hit “I’m Too Sexy” (for my Shirt, so sexy it hurts…”)–making “I’m too lazy for my shirk…” a double wordplay…1. nod to band/2. even too lazy to shirk (sidestep) my responsibilities; “concession” is and admission, and a place to get food–as in concession stand;  given the context, “imagine” and “inconceivable” comprise an ironic twist; Yoo-Hoo is a chocolate drink, and a summons/greeting–which makes “shout-out” to “Any old Yoo-Hoo” a pun; hot-cross buns are sweet rolls, and “one-a-penny, two-a-penny hot-cross buns” is a nursery rhyme; “whet” means to stimulate (as in appetite) and means “to sharpen”, as in a (bread) knife; Poppin’ Fresh is the name of the Pillsbury Dough Boy; balance is tied to fair, which is tied to fare (meaning, food); “Aye, yie, yie, yie” is the opening line of commercial jingle for Frito Lays corn chips–pun is tied to “dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s (covering all your bases); crock (crack)-pot inventor and S-Marty-Pants refer to the lead characters from movie, “Back To The Future”, which ties in to anticipating future posts and constructing them back to front.

P.P.S. “I’m bringing sexy back” is a Justin Timberlake lyric; and an inside joke for a funny and cherished friend at work 🙂